Alex has been gone for a week now. Things are going okay without him but I do miss him. I have done a lot of thinking and at times I wonder if our complaining about Alex was petty. My husband even agrees that yes when you list one thing that it was petty. However, when you add the list of all the petty things that it does add up.
I know some of the things that bugged us about Alex and that we bugged him about will take him growing up to know that one has to make the groceries last for the week and to take it easy on the food. For example, he will pile on stuff like ranch, cheese and sour cream just to name a few. I secretly wonder if all my pestering on some of the stuff was silly. I can imagine the cheese and sour cream rotting since everyone else around here uses it in small amounts if at all.
Wednesday of last week I threw myself back into my YMCA routine. I started my week 9 of couch to 5k running program and this week I seen a 2 pound drop on the scale. I was a little surprised cause I think I probably resorted to a couple days of eating things that only tasted good.
The picture of me at the Y was when I started week 9. I was determined to finish the program and finish my run with 3.1 miles.
Today, I finished the couch to 5k running ap and since Stephen has been spending a couple extra days with his Dad I took a few hours out of the day to take care of myself. I call it me time. I worked with my curling iron to make curls and that sure does take some time.
I had it planned that I would get a pedicure as a reward for finishing the running program. When I got to the place for the pedicure (never been there before) and noticed that they had a deal if you got a manicure. So I got both done.
After the salon, I went to kohl@S and browsed through the clearanced section and tried on some clothes. I didn't buy anything but I did find two things that fit.
One was a size 10 capri jeans and it was a tight fit and I made the decision not to buy them. The other was a size 12 capri (spring color) and I didn't get it either. Isn't it weird how sizes just vary according to brand and how the clothes are made.
My husband and I have had the weekend free of kids and it's been nice. The ironic part about Alex was that when Stephen was gone with Dad that Alex would have no where to be and be home so we wouldn't have a child free weekend. But then when Stephen was home a lot of the times he would be gone all weekend.
I do miss Alex. I guess I can't have it both ways. I wonder how much adoption loss plays into my feelings of deep sadness with him being gone.
I have texted him a couple times this week and today he wrote to me for the first time without me writing first. He said that they were picking up his girlfriend and she was going to spend a few days with him. This is something that we wouldn't allow here.
I told Alex and my husband agreed with it that he could come home for a night or two if it was all planned out. I like that idea of him coming home even if it's just for a short stay.