We are thrilled that he is working the 15 tp 20 hours a week. It amounts to 3 to 4 days a week and this have given him plenty of time to hang with friends. Actually way too much time with friends.
The truth is we are the bad guys right now. We have been forcing him to go to the dentist which is something his Dad didn't do in the few years he was with him. We started the process of working on his teeth before he started the GED testing and it took us a bit of time to jump back in.
I admit that I got too caught up in wanting my pool time and balancing work and taking his brother to counseling and doctors to get working on Alex again.
He has had several appointments and is pissed at us each time. I even made him figure his own way home due to me being at work. It's the first time I didn't drive to pick him up.
We have been having some issues with the job and the paycheck that comes along with it. We haven't seen Alex buy himself any clothes or anything that he may need. We have suggested to him putting a bike on layaway or anything else he feels he needs or wants.
We have suggested he add minutes to his phone other than the ones we provide. He runs out and then is out of reach. Or we suggested him getting another phone. He has yelled at us that he isn't going to get a phone until he can get a nice one. He doesn't want to walk around with a shity phone. Alex has asked my husband to add a line to his phone plan and my husband doesn't want to do this due to being stuck paying the bill if Alex didn't pay it.
If Alex is working we save his dinner but the rule he is to eat it. We had three days of dinners pile up and we don't like to see food wasted cause that is money wasted. He has been informed if enough time passes with food sitting then we won't prepare food for him.
Tonight, he came home in time for dinner and was told what time we would eat and he chose not to be home. We saved the meat that we would have cooked regardless but we didn't go out of our way to cook the potatoes for him.
These last couple issues are more things that bother my husband mostly but only me slightly.
My husband wants ten o clock adult time. If Alex is coming in later than ten due to work or being out then it's expected he use the back door and go down to his room. He doesnt like kids running around the house when we are asleep. Honestly, he probably would have to be up running around past 11am or 12 am for both of us to be sleeping.
Yesterday, my husband made a pan of brownies and my husband was mad that Alex took the last peice. My issue first at hand for myself is how come a family of four or five if we count our grand daughter ate a whole pan of brownies in one day? I had some but not much due to already dealing with a tummy ache.
Anyways, My husband told Alex it's rude to take the last of something that you didn't cook or buy. I agree with the statement but sometimes I do feel that my husband forgets that I buy groceries for everyone. My husbnad isn't a big eater but make brownies or some kind of muffins or blueberry bread he can put them away. Alex did ask for a brownie before the last one was taken during the night so it's not as if he didn't get any.
The thing is that if Alex wasn't going through our kitchen when we were sleeping he wouldn't have taken the brownies. This kind of behavior is something my youngest son would never be allowed to do.
I think part of what gets under our skin that between work and friends that we hardly ever see him and he comes in and runs for the goodies. Today, he gave me the silent on the way to the dentist and never spoke to me.
Another day, on the way home from the dentist he was told to come home and rest and called his
buddies and got out of the car when he was close enough to home and could hook up with them.
We haven't charged him rent but it's in the talks and he thinks we are crazy mean that we would demand rent. We haven't demanded him to provide meals yet but have hinted if he see's we are out of something simple like PB or jelly to pick it up since he workds in a grocery store.
Sorry for venting. It's been stressful around here. I feel like Alex taakes things personal and doesn't get everything isn't about him but how we want our household ran.
1 comment:
Definitely hard issues. I grew up in such a different household. Whatever was in our house, was everyone's. We were allowed to go in any part of the house (besides people's personal bedrooms of course) If my parents cooked or baked, we could eat any of it, and often did. It didn't matter if it was the last piece of anything. We truly had the mentality that we are a family, and we share everything.
It seems like your husband wants to run things so differently. Almost treat your oldest son like a paying renter. And if that's what you guys decide, that is obviously your decision. I just don't relate to that mentality.
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