Friday, January 8, 2010

Sometimes, I feel that adoptive parents feel that they are more entitled to children than the birthparents, because they have more money. Let's face it, most birth parents can't afford to adopt so they do have less money. However, that doesn't mean that just because someone doesn't have as much money as someone else that they can't be a parent.
I know their are some situations where adoption is probably the best choice, but I don't think money should be the biggest reason for adoption. I know there are people who choose to have kids and live off the system, but I don't believe that is the majority. Besides, I think they are cracking down of that kind of stuff. No longer can someone receive a monthly check just because they have kids.
It makes me upset when I see someone say something like I don't want to pay for someone else wrong timing to have kids. There are programs in place to help people. WIC for example. Women, infants and children. I see no wrong in someone using that program. I used it for both of my son's. That's what it is there for. To ensure healthy Mom's and children. WIC can offer so much more than just milk and a few of the basics. They can connect you with resources such as where to get clothes, furniture and many more little things that could help a Mom keep her baby if money is a problem. Let's be honest here. Babies are expensive. So are kids. But a little help in the pregnancy and the beginning can go a long way. Of course someone who applies for WIC has to prove that they meet the requirements for the program. So, this is for working people too.
There are plenty of other resources of hard working families. I personally know someone who applied and was approved for a habitat humanity house. They don't give them away for free. They do pay and have to volunteer many hours of service before they can even move in the house. Also, people who qualify can go to college for free. There is nothing wrong for those who qualify.
I guess what I am trying to say is be careful on who you step on as you climb up the ladder. Because life can change fast and you never know if you will lose a job or a spouse dies of whatever and you will want these programs to help keep your family intact. Or will you choose what is best and place your child for adoption? I don't think so. You will be on the phone and in the lines with others so you can do what is best for your child. Seems like a double standard. What is good for me isn't good for you. Suddenly, money isn't a reason to choose to place your child for adoption. I am not speaking to anyone in general. Just letting off some steam.


BB said...

I read on someone's blog that adoption is sometimes a permanent solution to a temporary problem (i.e. finances/maturity etc). Really resonated with me.

birthmothertalks said...

I do believe in a lot of cases adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I personally have seen how maturity has caused two kids to grow up with a Mom who isn't taking proper care of them. However, I blame her Mother for just taking over and probably talking down to the girl.
I don't have any easy answers besides woman using programs and support from their parents. Maybe the best thing to prevent someone from choosing adoption is to more education to prevent unplanned pregnancy's.