Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Thanks for the comment. I try so hard to have an open mind and also to educate others in a respectful way. I really don't think any family should have to think adoption is the answer, because funds are short. I think everyone if they qualify should use what programs that are out there if their is a need for it. I would even say the adoption tax credit.
I think if people take the time to stop and think a lot of us took risks but so escaped unharmed. I agree we shouldn't kick people when they are down. I think if people think people who are young,earn less money shouldn't parent.. well because it's not "our" fault you opened your legs. I think it can go both ways. It's not our fault that some people can't get pregnant. If they want me to live in my reality then they should live in theirs. I do know that not all adoptive parents are thinking this way.
I do think an pregnancy crisis place is the best place for a women with unexpected pregnancy to get counseling about her options. They can be unbiased and also know where to send you to get some help. Also, when it comes to counseling. I don't think the fact that you will make some couple very happy who can't have kids. It doesn't belong in counseling. If someone chooses adoption then it needs to be what they believe is best for them and their baby. The happy couple is just a side thing.

1 comment:

Tammy said...

I totally agree that parent should not place kids for adoption because they want to make another family happy. As you so often illustrate, it is a decision that will affect everyone the rest of their lives.

When I met my son's first mom, she wrote a lovely letter to both him and I. On the envelope, she wrote, "He is for you!".

I was actually very disturbed by that comment, for these same reasons. I *do* feel he was meant for me but not in the 'baby factory" kind of way, that the comment seems to imply. I debated long and hard with many about this comment (and probably should have just asked her about it LOL!). I knew she was placing him because she felt it was best for him - but I didn't want her to do it just to make someone else happy. Adoption is too big of a decision for that.

I know some thought that this was a way to help her feel better about her decision. That she was going to feel pain regardless but if she could make someone happy in the process, then that could help her feel better about her decision. Truth be told, it may have helped her initially but I doubt it helps her now.

I still don't know what to think of the comment. I want her to feel good about her decision but to feel good about it because it was best for her son. As you said, making me happy is just gravy.

I also don't know if she thought of that idea on her own, to help her feel better, or if someone said that to her. It is one of the many, many things I wonder about on a daily basis.