Saturday, November 24, 2012

Holidays and reunion

In reunion are there any birthchildren and birthparents who celebrate holidays together? Or are they invited but never can come?

My daughter moved away last year but comes "home" several times a year it seems. She is here in town and while we talked about Thanksgiving plans and traditions there wasn't an invite on either of our parts. I haven't met any of her family so of course it's no way expected that she would invite us.

On the other hand, she has met quite a bit of my family. My sister, my sons', my husband, my Dad, my brother, my ex husband and his wife, my best friend, my second Mom (teacher I have blogged about) My best friend,

She has yet to meet my oldest sister, my step brother, my stepmother, my mother, non of my aunts and uncles that are still alive, non of my cousins. (for the record our family just isn't close so it's unlikely she will ever meet any aunts and uncles or cousins)

I didn't invite her for dinner but we didn't invite anyone for Thanksgiving. It was just the four people that live here. Notice, I didn't say family? Isn't that such a loaded word? If we say family while talking to an adoptee.. does that mean we are exlcludind them?

Anyways, I didn't invite her but it's not cause I wouldn't like to spend an holiday with her. I know she has her family and her boyfriend's family and I just wouldn't want to put her on the spot to have to decline the invite.

I do send birthday gifts and Christmas gifts to her. I really haven't included her boyfriend in gift giving except for I did make him a coffee cup back during the summer and gave them both one filled with candy.

I am just wondering how others deal with holidays and reunion. We have opened our hearts as much as possible to Izzy. She has celebrated my son's 17th birthday and his 18th if you count on outing as his birthday celebration. It really wasn't set up as a birthday thing. More on that later. She has been here in our home for our son's graduation.

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