Sunday, November 25, 2012

adoption reunions

If your an reader on my private blog you might have also read about my visit I had with Izzy with her boyfriend and my two sons.

What I been putting off blogging about is that my first instict is to see Izzy on my own. I know that might sound bad.

Anyways, Alex, my now grown child asked me why was I the only one who got to see Izzy? Well, truth be told that not true. She came to his graduation party and I believe we have celebrated my birthday and Alex's birthday so they have seen her. He actually forgot she was there but then remembered the joke that went bad.

I didn't invite Izzy to any formal birthday plans this year because we kept things really low key for a few reasons. She did have lunch with us on his birthday but it wasn't really made a big deal it was his birthday.

I told Alex that it's not my responsibility to be the middle man in their relationship. It's up to him to try to have an relationship with her. Even though I know that things are not easy. I stand by what I say when it's not up to me to keep them connected using me.

I told him that I try very hard to keep communication opened even if most of our concersations are because I start them. I quickly told him about how the last visit when she was in town last wasn't very good at all. I think I might have said something to the matter of her being a brat. I said all this because I still have to work on my relationship with her. I can't do it for them.

When Izzy and I got together I mentioned to her how he got a little upset with me about not being invited with. She said, he never talks to me. Also, said that he could have come with. I said, yea, I know but shopping didn't seem like the thing to have him tag along with.

I know this adoption reunion thing probably isn't easy on him. I can only imagine how it feels when Izzy does something on facebook and tags her brother that she was raised with "brother" but she doesn't do the samething for him or my other son. If I feel the sting.. I imagine Alex does too. Stephen really isn't on FB much to feel much of anything.

Even though, I told my son it was up to him to make arrangements to see Izzy and gave him her number I still arranged the lunch and game thing for both of my kids. Alex grumbled at my choice of what we were doing but he never offered suggestions for anything else.

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