Sunday, March 13, 2011

Stories of miscarriage and a strange dream

I came across a book for sale at the library called Our stories of miscarriage Healing with words. Edit by Rahcel Faldet and Karen Fitton. I seen it and I just had to get it but honestly I felt weird about it. So, my husband paid for it for me.

I am going to blog about the book but I think I need to process it all some more.

I had a strange dream. It seemed like counseling or something because I was being asked questions and having to really dig deep into my thoughts about me.

In this dream, it came to me that it's possible that I basically only have one friend that I can hang with and don't really seek friendship out of situations that life throws me in and where I could make more friends is because I don't want to get close. I don't want to let them know the person that I pretend to me. That would be the mother of two children and the one who never had a daughter. It's so much scarier to let people in and know the Mother that gave birth to three children yet only raised two. I think there is a lot of truth in this dream. I always feel like when I meet someone that it feels stupid to share my life story but then when I do get to know them better, I feel like I lied to them all along and I feel weird. So, it's better to not really seek anything more than casual conversations from most people that I come in contact with.

No comments: