I been doing a lot of reading that pulls at my heart strings but so far hadn't had any tears over the books that I have been reading.
Tonight, I was at work and we were watching unsolved Mysteries on lifetime and they showed a story about a women who had just had a baby and was looking through the window to the nursery and a lady asked her which baby was hers and she agrreed that the new Mom had the prettiest baby.
Well, when the woman walked out of the hospital with her sisters the woman held them at gunpoint and made them walk a few blocks with the baby. She stole the baby from her and sped off in a getaway car with help.
At the beginning of the story, they showed a cake with the name Marlana and said they celebrated her birthday but it was sad time for them. The, they showed the scene of how the baby was taken.
They went on to do an age progression to show how she would look like as a young adult. I held back the tears until the Mom said she just can't accept that she will die without ever seeing her baby. It makes me sad to think of this Mom never seeing her baby.
Her experience isn't the same as a birthmother who chooses adoption or one that even gets pushed, shoved or forced into adoption because this women never did give up her right to her daughter. I notice when she referred to the child she called her (her baby) Even though she is grown now if still living. I think until reunion that birthmother's have a hard time really understanding that time didn't stop and the baby isn't a baby but grew up.
I didn't catch the year of birth of the baby but I suspect it's been quite a while ago. They suspect that the baby was taken by some women who couldn't have kids and wasn't right in her mind. No offense to anyone who can't have children or am I suggesting that women who can't have children would all resort to this. They also suggested it could have been a black market kidnapping for an illegal adoption.
Whatever the reasons that brought that women to kidnap a 3 day of baby it's such a sad story. I hope the child is safe and someday learns the truth and can be reunited with her Mom and other family members.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
The last couple of days
A couple posts down, I blogged about the frustration of feeling like my oldest son was avoiding coming to our house. Even though, it was already agreed upon that he would get dropped off at 11:30 on Sunday and that he would stay a couple days. My son is telling me that he has plans with his friends through the church and really wants to go. I don't mind being flexible but we had plans and I wanted to spend the day with both sons and my husband and grand daughter. My son then asked if he could just go to the dinner at seven and I agreed but basically he could do that.
Sunday, we went on a trolley ride and had a pretty good time. We were able to take a ride downtown and enjoy learning some interesting facts about how the Park District got started and about some of the local business that used to be in the area. We were given a break off the trolley to look around at the hundreds of rose bushes and the three of us posed for a picture.
After, the trolley ride, I dropped my husband and granddaughter off at home and we went to the local pool. I love swimming. My only complaint is that Alex is very physical and wants or needs constant interaction. He can tend to be rough. It's quite different with Stephen we can be near each other without always talking on being physical. But there are times where he too gets really too close for comfort in the pool and that can result in being stepped, sat on or being bumped.
On Monday, I took both boys with me to MELD. Alex didn't really want to go but knew that I wanted him too. I bought some play duh to try to get the kids to sit and do something compared to running around and being rough. We had six kids in total. We had one baby that slept the whole time in bed. We had only one of the older children and a couple other small babies. One of them puked down my sister''s shirt. That was way too funny! There was this little girl that been there quite often before but hasn't been there too much lately. It seemed like every baby held their poop until they came seen us. The play doh really helped and I admit it even helped my youngest son behave better. My boys tend to add a little bit to the boy energy and that's not always a good thing. It was a nice experience to have both my kids with me. I think it's important that they see volunteering options and also like my husband said hopefully it will be good birth control for my 16 year old son.
Tuesday morning, Alex took me to see a movie with his own money from a little part time job he has. It was the first time that he took me out with money that he has earned. We watched Hungover 2 and it wasn't probably the most appropriate to watch with my son.
Tuesday, was my 4 year anniversary since we bought out house!!! It was a cause to celebrate! It was even more so because we did get behind and have recently had our home loan modified to lower the interest rate and to forgive all the late fees.
We had a cookout with hamburgers, hot dogs and some yummy fruit and potato salad. We kind threw it all together with last minute plans and had a pretty good turn out. My Dad, my sister, my brother, my step daughter and husband and baby. We even invited my husband's ex wife and my ex husband and his new girlfriend and they actually showed. My ex husband checked out the kids bedroom for the first time even though he has been offered. Just for the record, I invited my Mom because I felt how she might feel bad if she wasn't asked when others were. She had told me she had already ate.
I can't quite put my finger on it but I still don't like this new girlfriend. She talks too much. My little sister didn't like her either. However, I think it's good that he has someone because well that would be two paychecks instead of just one person supporting the household.
Today, my little son and I went back to the pool and we had a good time. I noticed that he actually is dancing to the music. It's so cute!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Anne of Green Gables
A couple weeks ago, I was at work and on PBS they were trying to raise donations by offering the books and dvd's of Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery. They would only show clips of the show and I was interested and my client said she had read the books and watched the movie. I had never heard of it before but I jumped at the chance to try to engage my client in a movie that I knew she would like.
I had my husband see if our local library had any of the collection. He brought me home a dvd and a book. When I was seeing the little clips I didn't quite understand how Anne came to be Ann of Green Gables. I could tell that most likely she wasn't Marilla's and Matthew's child by birth, but how she got there wasn't known to me until I got the movie and started reading the book.
Of course, I watched the movie with my client but I read the book on my own. It was interesting to see adoption played out way back when. When I read, they wanted a boy to help on the farm. I was shocked. They want to adopt to get an helping hand!! I actually said it aloud and my husband said that is what they did back then.
It was interesting to read that I didn't hear about Marilla and Matthew didn't jump through hoops to adopt. Or, was any money mentioned. It was almost as simple as ordering a child. I don't mean to suggest that this is the correct way to go about adopting an older child. Not that I think a child sitting in an orphanage or foster home for years is the correct way either. I like to read about adoption but I didn't seek this movie or book out because of adoption.
Like I mentioned Anne was brought to Green Gables and was suppose to be a boy but they decided to keep her. They had wanted a boy to help with the farm.
It was such a sweet story. Anne was a handful but she grew up and was really loved by her parents. I notice how she called Marilla and Matthew by their names. She learned some great lessons along the years she was with them as a child.
When Matthew was beginning to really be ill Anne says I wish I was a boy so you didn't have to work so hard. He said something to the point of not wanting anyone besides Anne.
I liked how Marilla would say doesn't Anne of Green Gables sound better than Anne from no where in particular?
It was a such a sweet story and I am very happy that it came across the tv screen to entice me to learn more about this story.
P. S. That is Ann with an E not just plain old Ann!
I had my husband see if our local library had any of the collection. He brought me home a dvd and a book. When I was seeing the little clips I didn't quite understand how Anne came to be Ann of Green Gables. I could tell that most likely she wasn't Marilla's and Matthew's child by birth, but how she got there wasn't known to me until I got the movie and started reading the book.
Of course, I watched the movie with my client but I read the book on my own. It was interesting to see adoption played out way back when. When I read, they wanted a boy to help on the farm. I was shocked. They want to adopt to get an helping hand!! I actually said it aloud and my husband said that is what they did back then.
It was interesting to read that I didn't hear about Marilla and Matthew didn't jump through hoops to adopt. Or, was any money mentioned. It was almost as simple as ordering a child. I don't mean to suggest that this is the correct way to go about adopting an older child. Not that I think a child sitting in an orphanage or foster home for years is the correct way either. I like to read about adoption but I didn't seek this movie or book out because of adoption.
Like I mentioned Anne was brought to Green Gables and was suppose to be a boy but they decided to keep her. They had wanted a boy to help with the farm.
It was such a sweet story. Anne was a handful but she grew up and was really loved by her parents. I notice how she called Marilla and Matthew by their names. She learned some great lessons along the years she was with them as a child.
When Matthew was beginning to really be ill Anne says I wish I was a boy so you didn't have to work so hard. He said something to the point of not wanting anyone besides Anne.
I liked how Marilla would say doesn't Anne of Green Gables sound better than Anne from no where in particular?
It was a such a sweet story and I am very happy that it came across the tv screen to entice me to learn more about this story.
P. S. That is Ann with an E not just plain old Ann!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
It seems as of lately, I have to get on my knees and beg to see my oldest son. He lives with his Dad and we have joint custody. We don't do the traditional every other Friday to Sunday because I work second shift on Friday and Saturday.
What we have been doing is picking him up on Saturday morning about 11 am and I would drop him off on Monday morning for the school bus or take him directly to school.
I have told my son if there is something that he would like to do that falls on my weekend then he can talk to me. I am not sure if it's my ex husband or my son has taken this to mean that my son can decide to not come over. I have had to express myself a couple times now that it's his right to ask and my right to say yes or no if he does something with friends compared to coming over.
My ex husband signed him and my son up for a dart league on Saturday afternoons and only then did he ask me if I was okay with it. I didn't think I had much choice in it and since I work Saturdays I agreed. The last two times my son has asked to come over on Sunday because he wants to go to the church on Saturday and I been flexible.
Lately, I been feeling like my son doesn't contact me unless it's to ask can do something else.
Then, my ex is texting me and wanting me and him and the kids to meet to talk about somethings and I asked what. Supposedly, the kids have been complaining about some of our rules.
What we have been doing is picking him up on Saturday morning about 11 am and I would drop him off on Monday morning for the school bus or take him directly to school.
I have told my son if there is something that he would like to do that falls on my weekend then he can talk to me. I am not sure if it's my ex husband or my son has taken this to mean that my son can decide to not come over. I have had to express myself a couple times now that it's his right to ask and my right to say yes or no if he does something with friends compared to coming over.
My ex husband signed him and my son up for a dart league on Saturday afternoons and only then did he ask me if I was okay with it. I didn't think I had much choice in it and since I work Saturdays I agreed. The last two times my son has asked to come over on Sunday because he wants to go to the church on Saturday and I been flexible.
Lately, I been feeling like my son doesn't contact me unless it's to ask can do something else.
Then, my ex is texting me and wanting me and him and the kids to meet to talk about somethings and I asked what. Supposedly, the kids have been complaining about some of our rules.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
voluntering
On Monday night, I started my 6th teen week session volunteering for MELD. My little sister came back and so did this other girl that started about the same time as my sister.
For my new readers that don't know what MELD is it's an non for profit organization that provides support for young Mom's and Dad's and their children. It's mostly for the Mom's and the children though. They provide temporary shelter and help them reach their goals with education, work and support as in diapers and other baby items. They provide parenting classes and that is where I and many other volunteers come into the picture. We babysit the children while the Mom's are in class.
Last night, we had six children. Three were under one year of age. One of them was only two months old. The other two were crawlers but there is no way we could actually let them do that.
The 4 and 5 year old just run wild. The child that is 2 1/2 will play with legos or something on his own but only for a little while. Even with the three of us we just can't get control of the older ones. They throw toys and run around wild and that is why we can't put the babies down. We use time out and toward the end of the last session it was kind of improving. Last night, the oldest child got physical and really mouthy when he was put in time out.
I don't really understand what they are teaching these Mom's. How can the Mom's of the older children be in class with the new Mom's? It would seem like it's not doing one of them any good. The ages are so different and no way can they meet both needs. I do understand that it's non for profit and it might not be possible to run groups for the Mom's with different age ranges. Plus, they would need more volunteers.
The lady that runs the Mom's group can be a real hard ass and I mean that in a good way. However, it's hard to really be firm and raise voices when your holding a young baby. I am hoping that we can get back some of the control of the children and make it a pleasurable experience for all. I also want it to be a learning experience for the children. I know they are not there to be taught but life is a classroom and if we can teach through play then that makes what me and all the volunteers do worth even more.
I think the daycare environment for the older children just doesn't suit them. I think it becomes boring for them and to make it exciting they have to climb, throw toys and run wild through the room. I love it when they calm down and do puzzles,look at books or color. I try real hard to give all the kids attention even if I have a baby in my hands. I had my favorite little boy in my arms. He is a little black baby and last night a new baby about two months came in and she was the second white baby I have ever seen on my night. I wrote before on race and how all black children did kind of make me do a double take and has made me think more about being aware of how I treat black people in general. I admit, I am not blind. I did see the color difference but I didn't set my favorite baby down to get my hands on the new baby who happened to be white. Not that I wouldn't have wanted to cuddle with a new baby, but I know my favorite baby favors me over the other girls. Maybe, it's because I am the best. Just kidding. But I have been there longer and I am the only Mom and I think even babies can sense an experienced Mom compared to none that has only babysat for family or friends.
Oh, I mentioned about the new readers, introduce yourself so I can stalk your blog if you write one.
For my new readers that don't know what MELD is it's an non for profit organization that provides support for young Mom's and Dad's and their children. It's mostly for the Mom's and the children though. They provide temporary shelter and help them reach their goals with education, work and support as in diapers and other baby items. They provide parenting classes and that is where I and many other volunteers come into the picture. We babysit the children while the Mom's are in class.
Last night, we had six children. Three were under one year of age. One of them was only two months old. The other two were crawlers but there is no way we could actually let them do that.
The 4 and 5 year old just run wild. The child that is 2 1/2 will play with legos or something on his own but only for a little while. Even with the three of us we just can't get control of the older ones. They throw toys and run around wild and that is why we can't put the babies down. We use time out and toward the end of the last session it was kind of improving. Last night, the oldest child got physical and really mouthy when he was put in time out.
I don't really understand what they are teaching these Mom's. How can the Mom's of the older children be in class with the new Mom's? It would seem like it's not doing one of them any good. The ages are so different and no way can they meet both needs. I do understand that it's non for profit and it might not be possible to run groups for the Mom's with different age ranges. Plus, they would need more volunteers.
The lady that runs the Mom's group can be a real hard ass and I mean that in a good way. However, it's hard to really be firm and raise voices when your holding a young baby. I am hoping that we can get back some of the control of the children and make it a pleasurable experience for all. I also want it to be a learning experience for the children. I know they are not there to be taught but life is a classroom and if we can teach through play then that makes what me and all the volunteers do worth even more.
I think the daycare environment for the older children just doesn't suit them. I think it becomes boring for them and to make it exciting they have to climb, throw toys and run wild through the room. I love it when they calm down and do puzzles,look at books or color. I try real hard to give all the kids attention even if I have a baby in my hands. I had my favorite little boy in my arms. He is a little black baby and last night a new baby about two months came in and she was the second white baby I have ever seen on my night. I wrote before on race and how all black children did kind of make me do a double take and has made me think more about being aware of how I treat black people in general. I admit, I am not blind. I did see the color difference but I didn't set my favorite baby down to get my hands on the new baby who happened to be white. Not that I wouldn't have wanted to cuddle with a new baby, but I know my favorite baby favors me over the other girls. Maybe, it's because I am the best. Just kidding. But I have been there longer and I am the only Mom and I think even babies can sense an experienced Mom compared to none that has only babysat for family or friends.
Oh, I mentioned about the new readers, introduce yourself so I can stalk your blog if you write one.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
I stopped in where my little sister works to pick up some medication for my youngest son and she said she had something for me. It was a collage of my first face to face meeting with Izzy. My sons' first face to face meeting with Izzy. Also, some shots of us by ourselves from when we all got together that time. She put one picture of my kitties that I had since I was young that I no longer have due to old age.
It was really sweet of her and just made my day. I already have it in a frame and just trying to find the perfect spot for it. I like them to be somewhere in the open because it's another way for me to just say hey look at us. I am not hiding her anymore. It was a really good surprise and I will hang it proudly.
It was really sweet of her and just made my day. I already have it in a frame and just trying to find the perfect spot for it. I like them to be somewhere in the open because it's another way for me to just say hey look at us. I am not hiding her anymore. It was a really good surprise and I will hang it proudly.
Dear Todd (birthfather)
It's Father's Day and somewhere out there I am hoping you have a child or two in your life to remember you on this special day for Dad's. I wonder do you think of the two children that you lost to adoption? Izzy knows about you but there isn't too much information for me to really give her. I can't say one way or another if she has thoughts of you on this day. So, far she just hasn't really expressed much to me about how she feels when she thinks of you.
I wanted to find you for her that way if she wanted to know you she at least had that option. I have hit a brick wall and I have ran out of ideas. I think the only way that your ever going to have a chance at meeting her is if you remember my last name and search for me. I should be pretty easy to find because I still live in the same town. Once, in a while, I end up in the area where you lived when I met and I think of you. I wonder what it would be like to walk around that same place where you were. Would I remember the good times? Or the bad times?
I hope that you wherever you are that you have found a wife and have some children to raise. In my heart, I don't think you were a bad person. Just young and scared and things didn't turn out right way for you.
I wanted to find you for her that way if she wanted to know you she at least had that option. I have hit a brick wall and I have ran out of ideas. I think the only way that your ever going to have a chance at meeting her is if you remember my last name and search for me. I should be pretty easy to find because I still live in the same town. Once, in a while, I end up in the area where you lived when I met and I think of you. I wonder what it would be like to walk around that same place where you were. Would I remember the good times? Or the bad times?
I hope that you wherever you are that you have found a wife and have some children to raise. In my heart, I don't think you were a bad person. Just young and scared and things didn't turn out right way for you.
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