I really enjoyed doing the interviews that were posted recently. Thanks again to those that volunteered for me. One of my questions that I put out there for all of them was to tell me their favorite blogs and I wanted to dedicate a post to give a shout out to those blogs mentioned. I admit that I haven't had time to go check them all out but figure if I can put them all in one spot then I can remember them more easily.
Jenn listed this one for adoptive Mom's blog. Go here
Another one she suggested is this one.
My second interview was with Wendy. When asked to tell me a blog about open adoption she gives me this one. Go here.
Another blog she suggested was this one. Surf over here for it.
When asked to list a blog written by birthmothers she listed this one. Go here for the first one she mentioned.
Another one she mentioned was one that is on my blogroll. Go here.
Just adding my two cents but what I find very interesting about the blog mentioned above is that she found her child's adoptive parents thru blogging and we have been able to see adoption from both sides together but on different blogs. Check out the adoptive Mom's blog here.
Another blog mentioned by Wendy was this one here.
Leah was my final blog interview that I did. I found that I was more nervous writing the questions for fear of saying something dumb cause of her adoption being international. After, I got started with it. I did feel at ease with coming up with the questions.
The blog she mentioned was a blogger that also adopted from Eithopia. You can check out this blog here.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
I had a day out with my friend. We went to the early show of The Vow. Then, we went to walmart and got lunch at the deli and ate it at McDonald's. We just ordered drinks from McDonald's. I felt so bad. haha
Anyways, I loved the Vow but that's not what this post is about. They advertised a movie called Octoberbaby. I believe that was what it was called. From what I got of the preview it's a young lady on the search to find her birthmother and I believe it's promoting choose life. I have to see this movie but thinking I might just sneak off by myself to watch it. I think it comes out this month. It could be something that just will make me cry and I wouldn't want to break down in front of anyone.
Although, I do feel that I am in a much better place than I used to be when it comes to adoption pain. In my private blog, I wrote about how my husband said something that I thought was hurtful and mean. It really made me sad but it basically just made the feelings that I had been trying to shove away come to surface. I talked with my friend, when we were talking about our relationships. (yes, men, if your reading, women talk about you) I told her the story and how in the past I would have been angry and I forgot to mention that it could have gotten ugly but it didn't.
I told my husband that I thought it was mean thing to say and it made me miss Izzy more. However, he said sorry that he didn't mean to make me sad and I said, I know and that was the end of it. It didn't make it all better but I didn't let my emotions get the better of me and attack him for being an "asshole" as I would have called him in the past.
So happy that our relationship is going so strong.
Anyways, I loved the Vow but that's not what this post is about. They advertised a movie called Octoberbaby. I believe that was what it was called. From what I got of the preview it's a young lady on the search to find her birthmother and I believe it's promoting choose life. I have to see this movie but thinking I might just sneak off by myself to watch it. I think it comes out this month. It could be something that just will make me cry and I wouldn't want to break down in front of anyone.
Although, I do feel that I am in a much better place than I used to be when it comes to adoption pain. In my private blog, I wrote about how my husband said something that I thought was hurtful and mean. It really made me sad but it basically just made the feelings that I had been trying to shove away come to surface. I talked with my friend, when we were talking about our relationships. (yes, men, if your reading, women talk about you) I told her the story and how in the past I would have been angry and I forgot to mention that it could have gotten ugly but it didn't.
I told my husband that I thought it was mean thing to say and it made me miss Izzy more. However, he said sorry that he didn't mean to make me sad and I said, I know and that was the end of it. It didn't make it all better but I didn't let my emotions get the better of me and attack him for being an "asshole" as I would have called him in the past.
So happy that our relationship is going so strong.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
child support update
2 weeks after one pay day and about 4 days after the next pay day I finally got the child support card with the 2 week balance on there. I was happy to see it and know that most likely we can count of that money for a while for the children's needs.
I took Stephen to buy shoes and he was pushing hard to get a 70 dollar pay of Nikes but that was about 20 more than I wanted to spend. Last tax time his Dad bought him Nikes and he was fixated on getting Nikes again. He picked a 30 dollar pair of shoes and I was glad because Alex would have gotten really jealous if he got a pricey pair of Nikes and we made him get shoes that would be acceptable for a job should get get one.
We been having a hard time finding Stephen clothes at home. Don't ask me where they go. Maybe, slowly, I throw them out if they get stains but anyways I told my husband maybe tomorrow he can take him to get a couple shirts. He doesn't need too many street clothes cause he has uniforms for school. Alex pipes up that he needs clothes and I asked what happened to the clothes that your Dad bought you right before you moved in. He said, "you mean the clothes that were too small"? Oh that's right I forgot about how they put clothes on layaway and picked them up and didn't return clothes that were too small. That is just the kind of people we are dealing with. Children need the push to make the right choices for clothes ect.
By the way, my kids don't know anything about child support. Well, my oldest isn't dumb and knows his Dad has to pay but it was never told to them that we can't afford this or that cause your Dad didn't pay. Or you can get this or that cause your Dad paid. That may or may not be right but it's how I think is the right way to handle child support.
Even though, I can perfectly be allowed to spend child support on bills, food or housing. I do kind of feel like I want to make sure that I do pay special attention and buy things the children need. I wouldn't want them to go to their Dad's and for him to think geeze what am I paying for?
My husband thinks that buying things for the 17 year old is limited. Not to say that we won't get him clothes or things he needs but what we buy will most likely be things he will need to replace because he wore them out compared to growing up taller compared to our little guy. I see his point but if all possible I think if my children had needs that even past 18 I would try to help them. Not that I would let myself be walked on and go without if they are being lazy bums but if they were trying to be a responsible person.
I took Stephen to buy shoes and he was pushing hard to get a 70 dollar pay of Nikes but that was about 20 more than I wanted to spend. Last tax time his Dad bought him Nikes and he was fixated on getting Nikes again. He picked a 30 dollar pair of shoes and I was glad because Alex would have gotten really jealous if he got a pricey pair of Nikes and we made him get shoes that would be acceptable for a job should get get one.
We been having a hard time finding Stephen clothes at home. Don't ask me where they go. Maybe, slowly, I throw them out if they get stains but anyways I told my husband maybe tomorrow he can take him to get a couple shirts. He doesn't need too many street clothes cause he has uniforms for school. Alex pipes up that he needs clothes and I asked what happened to the clothes that your Dad bought you right before you moved in. He said, "you mean the clothes that were too small"? Oh that's right I forgot about how they put clothes on layaway and picked them up and didn't return clothes that were too small. That is just the kind of people we are dealing with. Children need the push to make the right choices for clothes ect.
By the way, my kids don't know anything about child support. Well, my oldest isn't dumb and knows his Dad has to pay but it was never told to them that we can't afford this or that cause your Dad didn't pay. Or you can get this or that cause your Dad paid. That may or may not be right but it's how I think is the right way to handle child support.
Even though, I can perfectly be allowed to spend child support on bills, food or housing. I do kind of feel like I want to make sure that I do pay special attention and buy things the children need. I wouldn't want them to go to their Dad's and for him to think geeze what am I paying for?
My husband thinks that buying things for the 17 year old is limited. Not to say that we won't get him clothes or things he needs but what we buy will most likely be things he will need to replace because he wore them out compared to growing up taller compared to our little guy. I see his point but if all possible I think if my children had needs that even past 18 I would try to help them. Not that I would let myself be walked on and go without if they are being lazy bums but if they were trying to be a responsible person.
Monday, March 5, 2012
When I get it into my head to do something with my children I don't tell them ahead of time. This could be something simple and cheap or like today a movie. I knew the kids would be out of school and we still are doing well because of the tax refund that gave us a soft cushion. We don't have tons of cash still but our bills are paid.
Going to the movies is a real treat for my family. It's expensive and we don't do it often. Truth be told, I want to see the Vow and had plans to ask my friend to go with me to watch it. That was before I realized that there wasn't school today.
It was also before my son got into trouble.
I only took Stephen to the movie. It may seem like I made up the movie plans to punish my son but honestly I was already planning it. I just don't tell my children ahead of time in case plans change.
Alex took being left home in strides. He has spent most of the day wanting his little brother to hang with him.
Going to the movies is a real treat for my family. It's expensive and we don't do it often. Truth be told, I want to see the Vow and had plans to ask my friend to go with me to watch it. That was before I realized that there wasn't school today.
It was also before my son got into trouble.
I only took Stephen to the movie. It may seem like I made up the movie plans to punish my son but honestly I was already planning it. I just don't tell my children ahead of time in case plans change.
Alex took being left home in strides. He has spent most of the day wanting his little brother to hang with him.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Oh no
I dropped my younger son off saturday for a extra visit. It's not really extra since he stays home every saturday to go to tutoring. My older son wanted to hang out with friends so he was allowed to do that. I haven't had a good feeling about the friends that he has met at the alternative school. I wondered if I was making judgments that wasn't fair.
The good news is that the tension between their Dad and me seems to have calmed down.
The bad news is after working my ass off at the Y, I come home to see a police car and my children's father's car in front of my house. The new wife is in the car but Dad isn't.
My first reaction is that step dad and dad got into an heated argument and things went too far.
Not that the police has ever been involved before.
I walk in and I see my current husband, my ex husband and my 17 year old son in my living room. The good news is that no one is pounding on the other and no one is in cuffs.
The bad news is that my son and his friends were caught smoking pot. Luckily, they didn't have pot on him so no drug charges but I am still pissed. And why didn't they cuff him and haul him off to jail. Why are the police handling teens with a little slap on the butt and they go free?
I am furious. I was afraid something like this would happen.
My son is going to be locked in until he gets the GED. If his Dad takes his brother then he is going too. There is no more saying well he is a teen and let him hang with friends.
My husband said the other day how he was nervous about friends being here because if they did drugs or drank we would be in trouble. I was a fool thinking that my son wouldn't do something so crazy. So most likely he won't have friends here either.
The good news is that the tension between their Dad and me seems to have calmed down.
The bad news is after working my ass off at the Y, I come home to see a police car and my children's father's car in front of my house. The new wife is in the car but Dad isn't.
My first reaction is that step dad and dad got into an heated argument and things went too far.
Not that the police has ever been involved before.
I walk in and I see my current husband, my ex husband and my 17 year old son in my living room. The good news is that no one is pounding on the other and no one is in cuffs.
The bad news is that my son and his friends were caught smoking pot. Luckily, they didn't have pot on him so no drug charges but I am still pissed. And why didn't they cuff him and haul him off to jail. Why are the police handling teens with a little slap on the butt and they go free?
I am furious. I was afraid something like this would happen.
My son is going to be locked in until he gets the GED. If his Dad takes his brother then he is going too. There is no more saying well he is a teen and let him hang with friends.
My husband said the other day how he was nervous about friends being here because if they did drugs or drank we would be in trouble. I was a fool thinking that my son wouldn't do something so crazy. So most likely he won't have friends here either.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
update
I thought I would do a little update on how my oldest son is doing.
My husband has stepped in and taken on some parental role where his Dad was failing. After, he got suspended, he talked to the school and the principal agreed to move him over to the GED department. All we had to do was get him an ID which the school had been wanting him to get all year. So, in the middle of February, while he was suspended, my husband took him to get an state ID.
He is set up to start testing for the GED in a matter of a week or so. My husband has put his foot down and said Monday thru Thursday he has to be home by 5 30 in the evening. He gets off from school before 2 pm so this gives him time to hang with friends or even job hunt.
I have quit bothering him about getting a job. I figure the GED is our number one thing right now. We did insist on that the much needed shoes we had to buy be something that he could work in if he did get a job.
My son has been hanging around friends a lot on the weekends and for some reason it bothers me. I guess I am so afraid of him doing something stupid and getting into trouble. My husband saids that my son either has teachings to be good or bad and not much we can do about it right now.
My son continues to be a slob around the house. hehe. One day, instead of dumping his bowl of milk in the sink I put it in his dinner spot. However, my son did take it upon himself to groom up much needed dog and we told him cause he did such a great job if he did our other dog we would give him money. So, my son did his best and we paid him 30 bucks and he was able to go see a movie without Mom approving for age and was able to order pizza with his friends.
My son has been blowing his Dad (weekends) and passed up an offer to go out to eat to hang with his friends. Plus, he invited one child and not the other and that wouldn't have went over well here. My 11 year isn't stupid.
I haven't really started the idea of giving him a dollar amount for snacks to choose his own. I probably need to though. I came home from work and knew I had a 2 liter of soda. It was gone. The next day I found the empty bottle in his room. So, we took his game controller in place of the soda. When he came home with friends we called him on it and he admitted to taking it.
As a person who was a teen and did this kind of stuff I am sure. I am thinking why doesnt the kid hide the proof? haha. The whole soda thing with my oldest son is tricky because we have his brother drinking mostly water. We don't want to mess that one up.
We are having issues with my son wanting to have friends over and my husband not wanting people in our house. He doesn't want to be bothered with worrying about having people over and also the fact about trying to feed his friends. We are just not the type of people who can whip up a meal for more than we have planned. We just a few months ago starting shopping weekly instead of daily.
My son doesn't have a phone but has an IPOD and if he has internet connection then he can communicate with us. Sometimes, he will write back and other times he says he couldn't call because he hadnt had an connection. I think sometimes he thinks we are stupid or something.
Well, I got to get ready for work.
My husband has stepped in and taken on some parental role where his Dad was failing. After, he got suspended, he talked to the school and the principal agreed to move him over to the GED department. All we had to do was get him an ID which the school had been wanting him to get all year. So, in the middle of February, while he was suspended, my husband took him to get an state ID.
He is set up to start testing for the GED in a matter of a week or so. My husband has put his foot down and said Monday thru Thursday he has to be home by 5 30 in the evening. He gets off from school before 2 pm so this gives him time to hang with friends or even job hunt.
I have quit bothering him about getting a job. I figure the GED is our number one thing right now. We did insist on that the much needed shoes we had to buy be something that he could work in if he did get a job.
My son has been hanging around friends a lot on the weekends and for some reason it bothers me. I guess I am so afraid of him doing something stupid and getting into trouble. My husband saids that my son either has teachings to be good or bad and not much we can do about it right now.
My son continues to be a slob around the house. hehe. One day, instead of dumping his bowl of milk in the sink I put it in his dinner spot. However, my son did take it upon himself to groom up much needed dog and we told him cause he did such a great job if he did our other dog we would give him money. So, my son did his best and we paid him 30 bucks and he was able to go see a movie without Mom approving for age and was able to order pizza with his friends.
My son has been blowing his Dad (weekends) and passed up an offer to go out to eat to hang with his friends. Plus, he invited one child and not the other and that wouldn't have went over well here. My 11 year isn't stupid.
I haven't really started the idea of giving him a dollar amount for snacks to choose his own. I probably need to though. I came home from work and knew I had a 2 liter of soda. It was gone. The next day I found the empty bottle in his room. So, we took his game controller in place of the soda. When he came home with friends we called him on it and he admitted to taking it.
As a person who was a teen and did this kind of stuff I am sure. I am thinking why doesnt the kid hide the proof? haha. The whole soda thing with my oldest son is tricky because we have his brother drinking mostly water. We don't want to mess that one up.
We are having issues with my son wanting to have friends over and my husband not wanting people in our house. He doesn't want to be bothered with worrying about having people over and also the fact about trying to feed his friends. We are just not the type of people who can whip up a meal for more than we have planned. We just a few months ago starting shopping weekly instead of daily.
My son doesn't have a phone but has an IPOD and if he has internet connection then he can communicate with us. Sometimes, he will write back and other times he says he couldn't call because he hadnt had an connection. I think sometimes he thinks we are stupid or something.
Well, I got to get ready for work.
Friday, March 2, 2012
For the first time in many years I am trying to use diet and exercise together and have lost 11 pounds but a few might have came back. I am using myfitnesspal and you basically log your food and exercise and there is also other members that you can become "friends" with. Today, I burned over 400 calories at the Y and they put the calories back as in you can eat them. Does anyone know if that's really the way to lose weight? They have me set up on 1950 calories a day and I told it I wanted to lose a pound a week. Just wondering what anyone might think about that on here.
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