So here is the deal. I believe in the past I have wrote about my niece and called her "K" Well, K isn't related to me anymore due to divorce but I was around for a good bit of her growing up days. K is now about 23 years of age I believe. K hasnt had the best upbringing. K has some mental problems and her Mother didn't really take care of her. K spent most of her childhood living in a one bedroom apartment that is part of public housing. K's grandmother raised her.

So K is my children's cousin. My brother got involved with K. That's where it sounds gross cause my kid's may say something like "my Uncle is dating my cousin" haha.. Well, K, played the "I am pregnant" thing a couple times and never was pregnant.. K likes attention.. So last summer or whenever 9 months ago K says I am pregnant and this time it's for real.

My brother who I will call "m" told me right away he didn't think it was his child.. Then when her due date M was more convinced that this baby wasn't his child. He stuck by her side even though she admitted to having slept with another guy and we seen her with this other guy a lot last summer when we could ride our bikes.. but anyways K stuck to her story that this baby is my M's.

The baby was born a little over a week ago and I don't know what to think of it. I honestly believe my brother and based on the looks and size I am leaning towards this baby is not my family.. but my brother seems to be sticking by her even though she falls in and out of love easily.. there is an picture of her with another guy holding her big tummy before she had the baby.

I actually seen the baby yesterday!!! He is so tiny. I wanted to take him home. I asked Grandma how K was doing and she said bad. I asked how bad? New Mom bad or really bad?? She said really bad.. I feel so badly for K, new baby and everyone involved. K learned from her Mom. She didn't have a strong support system then and I believe she will have help.. However, I see history repeating itself and instead of help they will let K dump her child on somoeone else. I know dump is a bad word.. Maybe it's better to say she won't step up to the plate and take care of him and Grandma (who is actually a great grandma now) or K's Mom who is actually (grandma now) will.. but if K's mother didn't take care of her own two children is she really gonna take care of this baby?

I am really hoping it's not my brother's child for a couple reasons.. one selfish.. this family is bad and I don't want to be mixed with them. K isn't bad.. just has some problems.. K's grandma isn't bad but is getting up there in age.. about 65 years of age.. In a round about way, I told her how much she helped us but she didn't raise my children and she agreed with that. I strongly told her don't let history repeat itself. Make K take care of him.

It's K's mother and step father that is bad and so is K's step brothers.. we don't want to be mixeed up.. bad things have happpened. Another reason I really hope it's not his child that it would make both parents on disabilities and that makes a sticky sitaution for physically, fiacnially and emotionally for this child to get a proper upbringing.

I have been obsessed with this situation but I don't think it's adoption rearing it's ugly head.. I haven't been jealous, terribly sad nor do I want to avoid the baby. I can't say if it would be different had it been a girl. So from an adoption stand point I am doing well.

We are hoping for a DNA test soon. We think that great grandma will push it cause K's SSI payment isn't going to get very far while she takes care of paying for a newborn's need.

Heavy heart

A newborn baby boy was born into my boys family. It may be my relation too. So if that's true this baby boy is related to my sons from both parents. It's not a case of incest even though it sounds like it. I have a heavy heart because I worry about this babies and it's mother's future. More on this later. I am officially stalking a couple people's facebook page cause the Mother has some mental problems and likes to delete people to only bug them to friend them.

My birthday

The top photo is from Mother's day three years ago.

The bottom photo is from my most recent birthday. Alex came into town for my birthday and treated me to dinner. Alex, Stephen and myself rode bikes to the pizza joint. We had an awesome time riding and just enjoying each other's company. Alex paid for dinner and gave me a card with a little cash in it. Plus he gave me some chocolate. He seems like he is doing well with his job.

It's slightly been over a year since we made him move out. It was a tough decision but it was probably for the best. He mentioned hoping to get his own place soon. I am so happy he is doing well. I am thinking of a short vacation stay in his town.. maybe get a hotel room and stay a night or two.. It's such a cute town. I would love to explore it more.

New goal

Before the end of this year I would love to see my followers reach 200 Followers.. It's not always going to be adoption related but I sort of miss blogging so maybe it will get switched up from time to time. Will ya help get me up there if your reading but don't follow? Let's see if I can live on the wild side and see what will happen first me hit 100 lbs lost or me hit 200 followers on my blog!! Let's go!!

Color run 2013

For the fun of it I wanted to share pictures again from last years run!! Go here.

and to see some more from last here go here.

Color run 2014

I signed up for the Color run again. I had such a great time last year that I wanted to do it again and I wanted to see my son get colored. I ran it and my son walked it. He didn't really want to do it but I bribed him.

Pictures before the run started.

During the run!!

A few shots from after the run.

Last one.

It was a blast! My husband said I ran much better than last year. I felt like this year the paint didn't stick to my clothes as well as last year. I chose to buy and wear the tank cause it mentions turtles and I have a pet turtle. Lol.

After we got cleaned up my son and I went to Olive garden and ate like pigs. They had an awesome deal for 2 for 25.00!!

I hope someday to do a longer run! I don't have any specific runs in mind but I think I would love the challenge of a 10k or half of a marathon. A little over a week ago, I went running on Sunday and ended up crashing a half marathon cause they were running on the bike path that I do. It felt weird cause everyone was aplauding everyone. I wanted to follow the runners and cross the finish line but didn't feel that would be right and I didn't have time to keep running.

Hope you enjoyed my pictures. I had quite a few dinners out over my birthday week.. next time I get a few minutes to spare I will post about my birthday dinner with Alex and Stephen.

Update

I can't believe I have almost lost all interest in blogging. It's weird. Well, how about a do a quick update on everyone.

I am now down 93lbs!! I am close to goal weight that puts me in the top range of a healthy weight. I am still working for the same two clients and lately one of them is driving me crazy! I am still babysitting for this church on Sunday's and somedays I am cool with it and other days I feel like quitting.. I feel like quitting on the days where I don't have any children. However, I heard a new baby was born yesterday so hoping for the days of not having any child go down.

I have to drive my husband to work and then it's two more hours before I have to be at church. I am there an hour and half to two hours and if I have any errands to do it seems like by the time I get home it's time to get my husband.. then he drops me off at home.. all this is done on not getting quite enough sleep between Saturday night and Sunday morning.. The funny thing is if I quit the church job and stayed home and had him drive himself I wonder if I would be equally frustrated cause now I would be stuck.

Alex got promoted at his job at McDonald's to manager. He is suppose to come tomorrow and we go to dinner for my birthday.. That would mean he would treat, right? LOL It was his suggestion so more reason to think it's his dime.. We shall see.

Stephen went to D.C and had a great time. He is finishing up 8th grade soon. I can't believe he is onto high school after this summer. We don't have anything lined up for summer but hope to have some camps set up for him soon.. It's his last year he can do the camp he sleeps over with.

Izzy has announced that her and her fiance are getting married at the end of this summer.. They are just having a small ceremony where they live and then coming to our home town for a reception.

My husband is working two jobs and for the most part they are going well. This month we came up on five years since he quit drinking.

My relationship with my Mother has improved! It's not pefect but it's an huge improvement. I think there has been a little on each of our parts at making an effort to see each other. I think our trip to TN in October was a starting point cause I had to spend a lot of time with her. I no longer feel akward being in the same room with her on a one on one basis. I can't say at the moment that we are super close and all that.. but it's something. Both my sisters are far away and all my Mom and Dad have home is my brother and me. I don't want to throw away the options to see my Mom. I can't promise we will ever be close and seeing each other weekly like she does my brother but it's something. I think I maybe happy with monthly or even bi monthly.

I am no where near talking to her about my daughter and for the moment I am okay with that. Don't know if that will ever change.