Friday, November 1, 2013

Do or don't ask is the question

I seen Izzy a couple nights ago. I haven't blogged about it in my private blog but I will do it soon. I have been tossing the idea of asking to meet Izzy's Mom or Mom and Dad in my head while Izzy is here is town.

So far tossing it around is as far as I have gotten. I am really torn if it's a right move to do or is it best to leave things the way they are as of right now.

I will say that I posted a picture of me and Izzy together on facebook and her Mom liked the picture. She has also liked a few comments that I have written on various status of Izzy's.

This makes me think that her family has warmed up to me or the idea of me and might not be as quick to push me off that cliff. But then I really don't know that they would have ever shoved me off at all. It's all in my head imagining how they feel about me. Truth is that I know nothing. All I have is what my imagination and self worth has put the ideas in my head. I do have the ignored letters so that's not in my head.

My feelings of dislike is fading little bit by bit of Izzy's parents. It's not that I don't or won't feel jealous. I am only human after all. A visit does leave me happy but also wishing for more.

I am a little worried that meeting Izzy's parents would feel like I would be judged on what kind of Mother I am or let's have a discussion about if Izzy has had a better life that I would have gave her. Again it all is probably in my head but the fear is real.

Right now Izzy's brother is graduating from boot camp so if we compare children's sucesses right now they win hands down.

Izzy is getting married in two years so sooner or later we will all probably meet each other. I don't know if this is one of those things I should just see if Izzy brings it up or not. Most likely I won't bring it up cause I am really on the fence about it but it is on my mind.

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