trip down memory lane

We moved many times over the years with our Mom during my 5th grade year and didn't really settle down in an house until I was about 17 years old. Coming from having our own home until our home that our parents owned was hard on me. We no longer had the secuity of knowing for sure where we would lay or head or where our next hot meal would come. This time frame is also the time frame where my Mom checked out of being a Mother and left a lot of the kid raising to my sister and myself.

One of our spots of living was an hotel room. It wasn't nothing fancy at all. It was myself, my Mom and my little brother and sister who lived in that one room. I remember it had a little stove so we did some cooking but we survived on lot of junk. I remember having to do dishes in the bathroom sink or shower and how disgusting it was to be doing that.

My Mom was gone a lot. At first, it seemed like an adventure living there. We had cable tv and a/c in the summer.. what kid wouldn't like that.. but then it just got old! I was with my sister and brother the majority of the time. My was working a lot and spent her spare time with bf.

My breaks from my sister and brother was that my Mom would allow me to go to this diner and order a salad and soda. It was probably the healthies food I ate during the pregnany.

I believe we spent a lot of time outside while we lived there. We mingled with other people that for whatever reasons found themselves living in a motel room.

I mentioned that my sister, my son and myself were getting our worksouts in and we came to the point where I normally turn around.

My sister wanted to look around the motel.

She stepped on the stairs bare foot to feel again how those stairs hurt her feet. We remember hanging out with people that actually was paying enough to have a small apartment.

Their is only one picture of our time living in this motel that I am aware of. It's my little sister and brother sitting on the wall. My sister sat on the wall and I took her picture on it.

My feelings on this trip down memory lane.

It was very weird. The last time I had been in that parking lot was when I was 15 years old. I spent the last few months of my pregnancy there so in a sense it's where my life took a huge turn for the worse. I attempted to kill myself while I lived there before Izzy was born. I am not sure if I ever blogged about that. I tried to drink bleach. I was just so scared to death. I quickly learned that bleach isn't something that you can just drink and it goes down well.

I remember being scared and calling my Mom but don't recall if she came home or not. I didn't tell her or anyone what I did or the fact that I was very pregnant.

I am not sure my sister was aware of how much of a life changing momment I experienced while living there. I didn't bring it up. I feel like I have come such a long way. It used to be that just driving past this motel would take my breath away or going to dinner at this chinese place that was next door. I have gotten used to being somewhat near it.

However, I have never walked onto the lot and let the memories of that 1991 summer come to me. My sister and I remembered down to the room we stayed in. I remember how I broke my brothers tooth while living there.. My sister remembers something about a window. I really don't recall what she said but it looked like they got rid of the window. I remember we were accused of leaving something on the stove and there was a small fire. This didn't make the hotel people very happy with us. I remember how we had housekeeping but not sure if we used it or not since messing kids wouldn't want them to see how dirty we made it.

I remember it was where I got my first nintendo and we got our first Mario Brothers game. I think it was for my 15th birthday but I am not sure.. cause I feel like I have memories missing. If we were living there at the end of May that means I was still in school but I know I didn't take the bus to school or do I think I was getting rides.

I remember it was the first and only time I have ate rabbit. My Mom tricked us and told us it was chicken. I remember someone sharing raw shrimp with us but I know I wasn't eating it. Gross!!

I recalled having a problem being home schooled during the 8 weeks I was off of school due to having Izzy. It was an issue cause we didn't really have an home.

I posted the pictures above on FB and my brother showed them to our Mom and asked her if she knew where they were from. (i wasn't there) She didn't know where it was and if I understood it right she didn't remember living there.

It's weird how something like leaving in a motel room can keep lasting memories between my sister, my brother and myself and our Mom doesn't remember it. I suppose some of that could be that she just wasn't really around much.

My sister and I joked on fb about getting our bother there too so they can take the same picture on the wall together.. I am not sure if we will do that or not. My sister is moving away as of Saturday morning. I think it might be intresting to go there with our brother and see what his memories or thoughts of the place is.