Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Foster parenting challenges

I babysit on Sundays at a church. I have been doing it for a few years. I enjoy it and the population seems to be growing with children coming into the nursery.

There is this couple that had shared the desire to be foster parents with the church and did what was needed to be approved.

There wish was a child for Christmas.

A little girl of 20 months was placed in their care. I am not sure if what I witnessed and experienced is normal for a foster child.

What I understand this child is in her second foster home and it pretty new to the system. I believe she was with this other family for a few months or so.

So basically this little girl has been with the couple I mentioned for less than a week.. This is what happened.

The Foster Mom and little girl come into the nursery and the little girl seems unsure a little bit but likes that she see's toys.

The Mom goes on to tell her that while people like to hold her that they were coming into the nursery so they could spend time together and the Mom reminded the child that "you are my little girl not their little girl." I felt like she talked to her on a level that an average 2 year old wouldn't get.

So the Mom wants the little girl to come to her and she isn't coming but is laying on the floor crying. I spoke calmly to the girl but I didn't reach out to touch her or pick her up since the Mom was in the room.

All of the sudden the little girl gets up. She walks right to me and climbs up in my lap. She straddled me backwards to get a good cuddle. It was sweet but I was a little shocked.

The Mom told the little girl again who's baby she was and she wasn't my baby but it was okay to be with me cause I get paid to look after children.

The Mom stayed in the room with the girl for the majority of the service. She was unsure if she could leave her with me plus she wants to bond with her.

It gave me a little chance to talk to the Mom cause honestly I don't get around much talking to other people unless they bring children to me.

I don't know if the child's behavoir was normal or not. I noticed when a couple other people would talk to her the girl would respond but for the most part she would ignore the Foster Mom. Towards the end of the service, the Mom wanted to go into the service and bribed the child to come to her for food and off they went.

I personally thought that the Foster Mom was trying to hard.. and she isn't bringing things down to her level. She has never been a parent so I know this is all new to her.

I wonder if the girl came to me cause I have the confidence in my abilty to take care of kids.. Anyone have any insight on this whole situation?

On another note, a couple that has 3 children announced that they were expecting their 4th child. This is exciting! It's not a big church so it's not unusal to only have one child or sometimes none at all if the family I just mentioned don't come to church. There third child I have been taking care of since he was a newborn and we are very much bonded. I don't share him well with my volunteer!! LOL

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