Izzy is in town for about a week and half. She was ill but is reporting she is better. I have come to terms with the fact that me asking to see her makes me feel really bad.. okay.. let's face it.. her not answering me.. makes me feel bad.. She did answer my most recent message about how long the trip is so I know she can read her messages that I send privatly. It's her choice to reply or not.

So as much as it pains me to admit I am not asking to see her. She did offer to make a wreath for my son's girlfriend's baby shower but I just have to accept she either did it or didn't do it and will contact me or won't contact me.

I will not put myself thru the emotions of sitting on pins and needles while I beg to see her.. So if I see her it will because she contacted me and not the other way around. I don't want to face rejection.

I really hope Izzy doesn't face any kind of sadness or anger over my decision.. If we go the whole week and half and never meet up. It's not all on me. For two people to have a relationship then two people need to make the effort. I guess I am accepting to love her from afar if that is what I need to do.

I have to look after my well being and I don't deserve to be walked on.. I maybe singing a different tune as her time gets closer to being up here.