Wednesday, October 22, 2014

An odd dream

A few nights ago, I had an odd dream. I had found Izzy's birthfather (Todd's) family on facebook. I say it's odd cause I never met them so I never gave them much thought. I know he was adopted but got the feeling they were not close. In my dream, it wasn't clear to me had I found his adopted family or birth family.

When it comes to his Adopted family them and Izzy are no where near related.. I mean I guess they are but it's so far removed that I wouldn't consider them much.

However, Izzy has a set of biological parents that gave Todd up for adoption and then Izzy was given up for adoption. That sure is a lot of broken up families just in those two. It's kind of sad. The dream made me wonder did Todd ever find his birth family? Or even if Todd or his birth family is still living?

I wonder what he is doing today? Does he think of Izzy? Does he think of me and if he does what does he feel when he thinks of me? Anger, resentment? warm fuzzy feelings from an young love? guilt? I feel like he is part of Izzy's story that is lost forever due to me not remembering his last name. It's not that I didn't once know it.. It's just that it was hard to pronouce and my memory is fuzzy from that time frame.

I don't really know what Izzy feels about the missing link.. I know once when I brought it up that I had seen someone that reminded me of him that if I ever ran into him.. she would want a picture but I don't recall if she would want contact.

It's almost impossible for Todd to find his lost daughter without coming to me first. I only say that cause he didn't know a name and I don't believe he knew a birthdate.. I imagine he would try to find me and that shouldn't be really hard. My last name was pretty easy to say, spell and my guess is that he would be able to find me thru some of my family that still carry that last name.

I guess only time will tell if we are meant to both see our daughter again.

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