Saturday, January 17, 2015

My answer to a comment left.

The comment left was this..

Maybe Izzy does not know where she and you stand either. Maybe Izzy wants to be an aunt of your grandchild, participate in baby shower or something like that?
Could you suggest something like that to her?

I thought this would be a nice blog post instead of just answering in the comment section.

It's very true that there is a chance that Izzy doesn't know where she and I stand with each other. We really don't have a mother daughter relationship and I can't pin point what kind of relationship I would describe it as.. Truth is that I am closer to my sisters than I am with her. so I wouldn't call it a sister relationship.

However, out in public people have thuoght we were sisters because we look quite a bit alike and there is only 15 years apart in our ages.

I wouldn't call it a cousin relationship.. truth is I am not really in much contact with cousins except for facebook.. so maybe in a strage way if you take away our rare speed dating quicl visits.. At times it seems more of a superficial relationship based on knowing we are family but not really acting as family. However, I don't send gifts to my cousins nor do I miss them really. We do always embrace hello and goodbye. I don't know if that is cause she feels that is what I want or if she came from a hugging kind of family.

When it comes to big news in our lives I do try to tell Izzy before she learns about it on facebook. I do that because I believe somethings because she is important to me shouldn't be learned in that way. So, I did contact her about my son's girlfriend expecting a baby and I got message right back.. It tells me something. She does see my messages and chooses not to reply but since it was exciting writes me back asap.

Izzy has been included in a few of our celebrations over the years. A graduation party and a birthday party comes to mind. I was invited to her wedding reception but I do feel like around that time is around the time I noticed an big decline in our relationship.. That was also around her 23rd birthday.

I don't know for sure about a baby shower. I suggested to my son I could throw her one for his side of family but truth is I don't know a thing about throwing baby showers and I am not much of a party thrower. I am thinking about asking a friend for help and renting one of those outside shelters and giving her a shower in early June. The baby is due in July. I am antipating I may need to help with the costs of the baby but that is just my mind trying to figure how these two will support a baby on McDonald's pay..

Which gets me thinking that I met my first husband while working for McDonald's and we made it.. but not really.. cause we had to live with family for the first year.. My son and his girlfriend can't really live with me and keep their jobs cause they live about an ahour away.

Back to the actual baby shower.. If I throw one.. I will for invite Izzy to the baby shower but the thing is Izzy lives a good distance away from us. So Unless I get word about them taking a trip here which they often do.. I don't see her coming to a baby shower..They tend to come about twice a year but I don't think the timing would work right.

I will for sure let her know when the baby is born and tell her she is an aunt. It will be up to her to speak of it she doesn't want to be Aunt Izzy.

I think sometimes Izzy is testing my love for her.. I will try to remember to blog about that soon.

I will say I do feel good about not asking about the gift. I have backed my interacting with her a bit on facebook. I haven't quit speaking to her but really keeping it limited and not being all over everything she says.. not that I was on everything that came out of her mouth.

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