Saturday, January 3, 2015

I am feeling a bit better about the no contact from Izzy to say thank you for the gift. I walked to my best friend and she reminded me that I really haven't been getting a lot of contact from her anyways.. I did contact her to tell her about my son's girlfriend being pregnant and she wrote right away.. so that does tell me she gets the messages and depending on how exciting or interesting it is to her if she will respond..

I told my friend how that I need in the future to either send gifts expecting I might not even get a Thank you or not send them at all. She made a vailid point. I shouldn't have a relationship with her that mostly revolves around me sending her gifts. So I might have to go back and remind myself of this later but I don't believe I will send gifts to her anymore. I hope that doesn't sound wrong. I spoke to my friend about the difference of unconditional love and just being rude..

She believes she is being rude. If someone gives you something. You say Thank you! It's just how people with manners treat other people.

I do know from experience from interacting with her and watching her on facebook that she does have manners. As a matter of fact, the very same day she got my package she thanks her husband and someone else on facebook for a package. So call me out if I am reading into something but she has a problemw with me and I believe she did that on porpose to dig at me.

My son said she is rude and my friend commented that my son is only saying what I am thinking. I don't know where I will do from now on as far as contact with Izzy. I am thinking cards for holidays and birthdays but no gifts. I think I will keep my contact on facebook limited but I refuse to delete her. I don't think I could bring myself to do that.

I am still a birthmother that went years of not knowing if my child was alive or not and I can't go back to that.


Leah said...

Personally, I think the whole point of giving gifts is because we enjoy giving.... And not because we expect
Something in return. Evaluate why you give in the first place. I am guessing it is because you love her and want to do good by her. So who cares if she thinks you? That is not the point of you giving her gifts. Remember, she is on this journey just as much as you are. I don't agree with stop giving her gifts. You love her, so keep doing nice thingsfor her. She will come around

birthmothertalks said...

Thanks Leah, I really don't expect much in return. Just wish a word or two like a thank you or those cookies were so yummy! It's hard to know if the gifts bring a smile to her face if she doesn't respond. My sister is in from out of town and we were looking at our cookbooks and I am still actually talking about creating a cookbook for her so I am not saying 100% I won't send gifts.