Sunday, November 16, 2014


I decided not to send flowers or a card on Izzy's and mine 4 year anniversery of meeting. I went agaisnt the flower idea because I couldn't afford it. I went agaisnt the card idea because since I thought of the idea late it would have never got there on time. I am thinking of sending her a card on Thanksgiving.

I did aknowlege it on facebook and got a "like" It's the most attention she has given me since the wedding reception besides telling me as they were heading out that they were just too busy to connect.

I noticed her fitbit hadn't synced up in a while and she and my sister had fallen off my friend list so I tagged them both asking what had happened. She wrote back that she didn't know why and would look into it.

Right now, I am giving her space online. I occasionally "like" something but not nearly as often and been keeping my comments down cause I don't know what is causing the silence but I just wonder if silence is what she wants right now.

It's hard not knowing or understanding what is going on with her. I have no choice but to try and be okay with the way things are right now.

My husband even suggested that she may just not want to be "my friend" that if we knew each other and were not Mother and daughter would we have enough in common with our age differences to be "friends"

I been staying pretty busy so it's easier not to dwell on this issue. I work full time. I babysit on Sunday mornings at church. Besides my recent sinus infection that took me down for about two weeks I spend a lot of time working on my health with fitness and meal planning.

I have created a group on facebook at the suggestion of a Y friend to make a challenge not to gain weight over the holidays so I am active in that. I am so close to goal! but I believe I have had a slip up enough to actually gain a couple pounds compared to my lowest.. I was less than half pound away but not am about a pound and half away from goal.

Friday is Alex's 20th birthday! It's hard to believe he is 20. I believe he is going to come home for a couple days so we will celebrate his birthday.

It's not easy but I know I need to focas on the children that I do have in my life and take Izzy with a grain of salt. I can accept when she sprinkes her presence in my life and dust the dirt off my knees when I am feeling ignored by her.


Lorraine Dusky said...

Been there, done that. There is nothing you can do. A relationship takes two people, as much as you want to be in her life, she, as many adoptees, have a diffident attitude.

I'd leave her Facebook page alone, and I'm so glad that I found my daughter in the era before Facebook. Checking in on her page can be a nightmare.

And in the meantime, many hugs to you.

birthmothertalks said...

Seeing her updates on facebook for the most part doesn't bother me. It gives me insight to her happenings in life. I have cut way back on talking to her on facebook.. Thanks for the hugs.