I almost always have to get him and pick him up and eat the cost of the gas.. the getting loss factor is / was more of an issue of the money but also sometimes a time thing. I bought myself a gps because I don't want a fear factor of getting lost keeping me from seeing Alex when he is less than an hour away.
The other issue is that Alex never comes with any money to spend. It kind of limits us to what we can or can't do if he can't pay his own way to say the movies or out to dinner. I am talking so broke he doesn't have money for a soda. We really don't buy Stephen soda so buying Alex soda for our house could cause some trouble.
I did ask him the day I was getting him to bring a few bucks to chip in for dinner cause we were going out. He said he would try but mentioned he had been broke. He brought ten bucks and I felt bad and gave him half of it back and later on left him a few bucks so in reality I didn't keep any of his money.
This is an issue we don't know how to handle. Do we say when you come make sure you bring some cash ect? I told my husband I thought of telling Alex that he my husband said that Alex just might not have any spare cash really to bring.. he pays rent where he stays. I would never want my son to think he can't visit based on the inabilty to have a few bucks in his pocket. But depending on what I might or might not want to suggest it could cause a damper on paying for him.
In most cases, if I have it to spare I would pay anyways.. It's how my Mother treats me to dinner ect and even paid for me when we were on vacation together but the difference was I did offer and oould pay for myself.
This situation has really got me thinking about how I should proceed with gift giving ect.. so many times my heart tells me to send Izzy's Mom flowers for Mother's day or send Izzy a little something just for the hell of it. For the record, I haven't actually sent Izzy's Mom flowers and only once sent Izzy a gift other than Christmas and her birthday. But that fact that I am considering sending to them makes me really have to do some serious thinking.
If I have spare money I should be considering the needs of my sons! I hope that doesn't sound bad but I should look deeply and see if there is anything my kids need and go from there. I been throwing around of the idea of just out of the blue sending Alex a few bucks.
It's not that I don't want to give Izzy a little extra gift once in a great while or even reach out to her Mom but I do think maybe I should at times help Alex out.
I just don't know if that would insult Alex to suddenly get a surprise with money or keep him poor because I am filling a need he isn't. But then again... i don't see myself sending a lot of money or all that often.