This past week was a little rough on me. When I buy clothes for the babies and toddlers at MELD it picks me up. So, I did just that. I almost always buy things from the places like the good will and salvation army. I only buy new items when I see a really good deal. I handed them a bag full of clothes yesterday. I just buy a few at a time and then give them away. I thought it would be fun to take a picture of them. Excuse my mess on the table.

MELD Fundraising

I have decided that in one week from today, I am going to pull the money that has been raised for MELD. Through blogging the total amount has been raised is 105.00 I don't add money to the account like I wanted to at first because it wouldn't let me pay myself. I did buy gently used clothes here and there for MELD. I have had to really work hard on not buying all girl stuff, because girl stuff is so PRETTY. But it's more boys than girls.
If anyone else would want to donate to the organization now is the time to do it. I won't seek donations after this last chance call. I will leave the donate button up should anyone ever strike it rich! lol
My plan is to split the money up and use half on gifts for the six to seven kids that show up on a weekly basis for Christmas presents. With the other half, I will use that to buy items from the baby section of the stores. Examples, baby bottles, wipes, pacifiers, bibs, baby lotions, soap, teething rings, rattles or any other baby related item.

Again, I want to thank everyone who even considered donating. I know sometimes money is tight and there just isn't enough to go around. Also, thanks to everyone who did donate. It's been a great experience for me. I will put the funds to good use.

family drama

I have been working on my scrapbook for Izzy for two years. I been after this aunt of mine for two years to go through her pictures and get some copies of my grandmother to me. One, I want it for the scrapbook and two I just want them for me. Both of my grandmother's died before I was born and I would love to see what they looked like.
My aunt is the oldest living child left and hasn't been too well. So, I kind of gave up asking until I found out my Dad was going to see her. I figure between my Dad, his wife and her and her daughter that someone could look through the photos and copy them for me.
My Dad refused. He said my aunt isn't well enough to do it and he wouldn't know for sure if he was looking at his Mom or his grandmother. Huh? Is he telling me that she has pictures of my grandmother and my great grandmother? And we can get them another time. It's just feel like an excuse after an excuse to me. I am about ready to give up. He says that the next time he is there or maybe I can take a trip to do it, but what's going to be the excuse this time. It wouldn't do me any good to go through them, because I wouldn't know who I was looking at either.
It is really making me sad. I have nothing to show that I had grandmother's. I feel like they are denying my requests to even see a picture.

Happy Thanksgiving

I remember last winter, I believe it was in February and the pastor was talking about taking the focus off yourself and put it onto others. From that I quickly made the move to contact MELD.

I got into volunteering and haven't stopped. It has really helped me feel better about myself plus it's fun to hang around little children.

So, I thought why not raise money for them.

As of yesterday, I had raised 30.00 and was stayed really happy that people cared enough to help support my desire to donate to them.

Did I ever mention that I have a lot to be thankful for? I do. Some of you know that I been keeping something BIG from this blog. I still not wanting to go all out and talk about it on here, but trust me when I say it's GOOD!

Back to the MELD. I checked my email today.

I found something that just amount made me jump off the couch.

Do you really want to know?

You sure?

It's awesome news!

Meld had received another donation.

In the amount of 75.00!!!

That brings the total that I have raised through my blogging to be 105.00 plus countless clothes that I bought for them.

I am so thankful for the person that donated any money to MELD. It means so much to me. I am even more so thankful to the person that donated the 75.00. It blew me away. Thank you again for your support.

I was talking to my friend and somehow we ended up on the subject of breastfeeding.

She mentioned something about drying up and I said something about how long it took for her to dry up. I told her how when I had Izzy how I was given a pill to dry up the milk supply.

When I had my sons and choose not to breastfeed how they didn't give pills anymore for that anymore. She had never heard of getting a pill for it.

Any other birthmother's remember getting a pill to dry up your supply?

What I would have told myself years ago

And is what I want to tell birthmothers that are newly birthmothers.

Don't be afraid to talk about your child and adoption.
Make sure that you have at least a few people that you can talk to.
Write letters to your child and save them.
Create a scrapbook.
If your getting pictures. Hang them up but save copies in safe places.
Don't let your family pretend it didn't happen.
Don't deny that your child was born.
Check into counseling if you need it. It's not a sign of weakness. Go on a regular basis.
Be open and honest with boyfriend's husband's. The saddest thing that I read once was a man that was contacted by his wives grandchild. She was the grandchild of the daughter that she placed for adoption. She lived her whole life and never even told her husband or kids.
Tell yourself everyday that you are good. Adoption didn't make you a bad person.
Create something a special way to honor your child on his or her birthday. I kind of treat my daughter's birthday as an excuse to treat myself to a day out.

If anyone else has any suggestions on what to tell a birthmom in those early years please feel free to suggest it. I think some of the things I mentioned might have given me less of a stuggle over the years.