back to school

On Monday, Stephen went back to school. He officially is an 8th grader now. There is something about him starting the last final year of middle school that makes the four years of high school seem around the corner.

Going back to school can be hard on everyone on several different issues. I think for us change of routine is hard on not only Stephen but my husband and me. We have already just got done changing our routine with my husband entering the working work force outside of home. I always want to include outside of the home cause people even me (who me) under estimate the amount of work stay at home parents do. I still say my husband was getting lazy but that's another topic. Love him anyways.

We are used to having dinner around my workout routines and being flexible with bedtime. It's not that we allow him to stay up until all hours of the night. We just had a later bedtime so it gave us wiggle room with eating. I am still working on moving dinner earlier times. It's almost 7 pm and dinner is delayed cause I got busy making some zuchinni bread. Hope it tastes yummy.

Had to take a break from writing this post so the bread was yummy and about 200 calories. It's my sister's recipe. I love that she made me a cookbook.

It can be a little expensive going back to school. My son has to wear uniforms so that is an added expensive to back to school time. His Dad finally sent child support on his own and sent 210.00 which is almost a whole months worth so it couldn't have been better timing. My husband and I were pretty impressed that he followeed through with sending in a payment all on his own. I never picked a fight with him when I learned about the job but did wait a week and ask if he was sending payment and kept on him (nicely) when it didn't come in. So maybe being nice instead of a bitch paid off.

With each new season and new change I stress about when I will get my workouts in and will I be able to incluse Stephen in those visits to the Y or find time for our new passion bike riding or god forbid I make Stephen walk. I know this sounds bad but often times I want to be at the Y for about 2 hours or more. I have started this new workout routine where it wants me to do 20 mins of cardio at least and tells me what workouts to do.

I find myself wanting to do more than 20 minutes of cardio and pretty slow learning the workouts and how the machines work. However, at the same time, it's important to me that we eat together as a family and I don't rely on my husband for all the cooking. So it sure can be a juggling act to juggle work, school, homework, workouts, family time and cooking and cleaning.

I am sure we will settle into our new routine in no time. I am already settling into doing a little more of the housework. I try to pick things up as I go and been doing dishes and laundy. Which is stuff I might have taken for granted.

Edited: To post that my son's Dad is back at his normal job driving for the schools so we should be back to our normal routine of child support coming out on it's own and being sent to me.

Also, my husband is making a decent amount more money that he did in the past so I see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to struggling to pay for things. I am even considering paying someone to come clean my house to give it a good scrubbing. Not sure if I will make it a semi normal thing or just sort of reset it back to a nice condition. Not that we are horders or anything. Cluttered and not spotless. Yes. No hording here.

Izzy wrote me that guess who got a fitbit? So buying her a fitbit is for sure off the table for her birthday. I thought about copying a cookbook my sister made for myself and my little sister but it would be time consuming and expensive to print it all up. So maybe I will hold off on that.

So my only option is a simple birthday card with or without a small gift card if I can afford it. Or flowers from a florist in her area.

I am leaning more towards the flowers.

I realized that I probably jumped the gun worrying about if I would ask to see Izzy or not. She isn't even coming until almost the end of October so I have plenty of time to think about it.

What I don't have a lot of time to figure out what to do for her birthday. It may just be a birthday card because I don't have a lot of money to spare. Truth is that I have none but I have never not given her a gift. So I do wonder how that would go.

Right now I am waiting to see that she gets moved to their new house they plan on moving to soon. I am leaning towards calling a local floriest in her area and see if for 20 or 30 bucks they can arrange a nice bouquet of flowers for her. My other thing I have thought about but not sure I can afford it is to send him a fitbit. She had expressed some interest in wanting one. My husband didn't think it was a nice thing to give someone as in implying "they have a problem" I see his point but considering she is trying to workout and all I thought she might enjoy it. Who knows maybe the fitbit could be a christmas gift.

So I guess at this point I am leaning between just sending a birthday card or sending flowers. I have sent flowers to her for her birthday up until she moved away. Well, since reunion that is.

We reunited via facebook shortly after her 18th birthday and met shortly after her 19th birthday. It's hard to believe that she is going to be 22 years old soon.

Follow up from last post

I wonder how Izzy will feel if she comes into town and I don't ask to see her. Will she feel upset and rejected? Relieved? at one less person to see? Happy not to deal with drama, if any, from her adoptive family about finding time to see me? Will she be feeling angry? Will she take it upon herself to ask me? Or go home pouting that I didn't make the effort to see her?

Izzy is flying home soon due to her Mom what I believe is paying for the trip. Is it wrong of me that I am leaning towards not asking for a visit and see if she asks me to get together? It's not that I don't want to see her but I don't want to see her just out of pity she may have for me.

What is the saying if you love something set it free? It seems like we might have one good visit and then one rushed visit. I know I should be grateful for anything that she is willing to give me but I just feel that I end up having to pick myself off the ground after the visits that don't go so well.

I know the answer to this is AM I willing to accept that I might not see her if I go with not asking her and she doesn't ask me. I will probably in the next few days or so write more in my private blog about this subject.

I feel like I almost have nothing to say on this blog. I don't know if that means I have come full circle and am happy where my life is going right now. I know for the most part this blog has served as a place where I vent about the negative stuff. I hope I have done a good job at showing the happy things too.

We are settling into a new routine at our house. My husband is working about 3 days a week. It's suppose to be mostly on the weekends but so far it has included at least one week night. I am learning how to manage without my husband. I have had to learn how to work the tv and dvd player.

I have started doing a little zumba in the living room. I just don't think doing it in the basement. I know that sounds horrible since we made Alex live in the basement. Although, as a teen I would have loved it. The basement to me seems so far away from the rest of the family and maybe Alex didn't like that. Going back and thinking maybe I shouldn't have bought a 2 bedroom house but I know I just got too caught up with house shopping and thought it was the perfect house.

I have started doing dishes and laundry and little bit of sweeping here and there and feeding our dogs. I feel like I am more productive when my husband is gone and plus I have to change my whole thinking about how he is HOME all the time. He is still home more than me but hoping with me pitching in here and there that our hosue will look nicer.

I am making Stephen help here and there too. He is 13 and no reason why he can't be expected to do more. Today, I washed his bedsheets and blankets and when I bought him back up to him he asked me "if I was going to put them on?" I said, "if you need help then I will help you. " I think I said something to the point of who do you think I am? And with the most serious voice he said if I was a tv Mom "i would be the maid" LOL Yep. He is going to be doing more around here and no more tv.

I been missing having our grand daughter here but in some ways I am enjoying not having a 3 year old. I feel like with her always being here she is stealing Stephen's attention. She is such a doll and when here she is grabbing and demands all the attention. I don't regret standing by my voicing my opionion that if my husband was to get a job that I would not be the babysitter on my days off. If I only worked part time then that would be different. I hope to see her on somewhat of a regular basis. Maybe even offer to have her for a day once a month.

My husband is enjoying the increased pay from his new job. He did say that he doesn't get hugs at work though.

I am still working out but have changed things up a bit with my husband working and Stehen being home from school. I been enjoying more outdoor activties and know the Y will be there when I want it. On the days that I run I go into the Y for my shower so it's not all wasted.

Just for the record, my child's father did finally on his own send child support. He sent 210 which amounts to almost a whole months payment at once. It couldn't have come at a better time with school starting and all. I was pretty impressed that he did it but at the same time I wasn't going to get on my knees and thank him for something he should have done. Don't mean I didn't say thank you. Just wasn't going to go overboard with it. I was pretty impressed with the system that he dropped the payment off at the post office on Friday and by Tuesday I had the money.

I have been quiet on this blog lately. Not a whole lot going on.

I did get my feelings a little stepped on when my Mom and brother took a trip to see my little sister less than a week of her moving out of our city. It bothered me she didn't even ask if I could go. I wouldn't have been able due to work. If there was any kind of notice and I could have afford time off it's possibile I could have been able to go.
Then they left to see my other sister who lives another few hours apart so my Mom makes effort to see all her children but me. I shouldn't say that. I have seen her more in six months or so than I normally do in two years.

My husband is enjoying his new job and the added bonus of making more money than he had babysitting. We do miss our grand daughter and at times I wish things were able to stay the same but to what extent does one put themselves in the hole for family?

Alex was given his first paycheck and says work is tiring cause of the 5 mile bike ride but other than that I haven't had a lot of contact with him. I have yet to make a trip on my own to see him. I have such anziety about traveling alone and even with a gps I can manage to get lost and be near tears as I call my husband and say "I am in trouble"

Stephen has had a busy summer. He did quite a few things like camp and the police academy. I think he had a great time. Stephen's Dad claims to have sent over 200 for child support out of his summer job. I have no reason to disbelieve him on it. I just hope the cash gets on my card fast so I can use it for back to school stuff. He goes back one week from tomorrow.

I have been having a lot of spare time on my hands. I have gotten my Sunday's back and no longer am working. It's my hubsand's extremly long day. So I drop him off at 8 am and then I run about 4 1/2 miles on the bike path, shower and get ready to go babysit at the church.

When I get home.. I have tried to balance it out between resting and doing things like the dishes, laundry, bedding and bathroom.. just trying to pitch in so the house looks somewhat nice when he comes home. I am not the best cleaner. I envy those that can afford to have an housekeeper come in.. I am sure that I would be cleaning before they came in though.

Hope everyone has had a nice summer. It's coming to an end.