My son

This isn't adopted related, but then again there is a lot more to me and my life than adoption. I know there is at least two teachers if not more than follow this blog so I am writing to get your thoughts and anyone else who feels like they have something to add to it.
This is about Stephen is my youngest son. He will be ten in March. Here is a little background information on him and where I am getting to with this post.
I went to my then husband's grandfather's funeral when I was about 37 to 38 weeks along with him. I wasn't close to this man, because I just hadn't seen him too many times. So, I we travel to two to three hour drive to the town he lived in. The visitation is one night and the funeral and burial is the next morning.
To my surprise, I cried and cried, like I have never cried before over people dieing. I haven't cried like that since a death either. After, about two hours of crying, my then husband took me back to the hotel to rest. After, resting, he suggested we go to Kmart to walk around. So, when I got to the car, I felt a gush. So, we went to the hospital there and they said nothing was wrong.
Then, we went back to the hotel and slept all night. I felt wetness every time I moved. So, we missed the funeral and went back to the hospital. They said that my fluid was leaking but not in labor. They told us to go to the lunch and come back and they would induce me. I was scared to death to have the baby there. I mean come on. They killed his grandfather, I didn't want them touching me. So, we go back and not in labor and make the choice to drive back to our home town to have the baby.
We get back around 3 pm and he isn't born till 6 am. I had to be induced and out of all three kids it was the worst labor. But that's not my point. Well anyways, Stephen, didn't respond to the Dr's and needed medical intervention.

• More info
• He was tracked by a nurse because he was in the nicu section of the hospital. She came out at different times to check his development.
• At 12 months, she was concerned that he wasn't talking much and wasn't walking.
• At 15 months, even more concerned, now he isn't talking at all and still isn't walking. She refers him to get an assessment by early intervention.
  
• At 17 months, he gets the assessment and is starting to try to take steps and still not talking. It's suggested that he get physical therapy, developmental and speech therapy.
  
• Not too much later, they suggest he get Occupational therapy too and a developmental play group. He received all the therapy at home except the playgroup. Then, he started going into the centers where they have more equipment.
  
• He did all these therapy's until the age of three
• At three, he entered a pre school program for special ed. Also, attended summer school.
  
• He spent the next year in the same setting.
• Final year of preschool was with his normal peers. He continued to get therapy's at school and I took him to outside services.
• At 5 years of age, he couldn't talk still. He had a few words here and there, but most people couldn't understand him.
  
• He entered kindergarten with the IEP and some extra help, but wasn't given an one on one. We felt like the teacher did his work for him.
  
• He is now, a 4Th grader. Still has an IEP and gets 300 hours a week in the resource room and speech and Occupational therapy. He stands out from his peers, but has been treated very well. His speech is still poor, but it's not bad compared to where he was.
  

I forgot at 2 1/2 a Dr said he had autism, but most people don't agree with it. His school calls him learning disabled and developmental delayed.


I have been feeling really discouraged lately. My son still struggles with basic math and they are doing the whole learning. They have encouraged him to use the calculator and also say it's okay if he can't write well, because of computers. He can read, but not very well. They say that he is at a O which is beginning 4Th grade, but I don't believe them. I don't see what they see.
We found tutoring one night a week and he loves it. But here is where the no child left behind is leaving mine in the crack.
My son's school district gives money to the schools based on some test scores and my son's school overall is doing well. So, they don't get any money to have tutors. I am happy that the school is doing well, but the high test scores don't really mean anything to me.
There are plenty of other schools that get this funding, but my son isn't allowed to access those funds, because it's for their students. They are judging the school on a whole and that is leaving kids like my son slipping through the cracks. We even went and talked to one of the lower achieving schools and she even said that the only way to tap into the funds is to move him to another school who's test scores are not so high. She basically admitted that he is falling through the cracks with the no child left behind act. Then, she had the nerve to say did I help you? Duh! no you didn't. Changing my son's school isn't an option. He strives on routine and I can't risk exposing him to children that would single him out.
My goal is to not send him to Summer school and work with him as in home schooling. I just don't get how he can learn 4Th or yikes 5Th grade work when he is struggling with basic math. I want to bring it to his level and also try to still expose him to the higher grades. I won't even get started on how school's just pass you on even if you aren't learning the material. Then, the high school students are shocked that they can't graduate. Why not let them? We passed them on by all the rest of the years.
Thoughts anyone?