"Our daughter"

Yesterday, I took my client to the hair salon like I do every week. I went into the doll shop. I have bought a couple dolls from her. I love that she let's me do layaways. I know it's corny, but I can't afford it all at once, and much easier to drop ten off a week. I have just been looking and trying not to buy, but then I seen this little red head doll. It make me think of my husband's daughter who is 24 years of age. She was doubled the price of the other dolls that I had bought, but she is a rare. At least that's what she told me. I thought maybe the doll would bring back good memories of his daughter and started thinking of it as the step daughter doll. Okay replace step daughter with her name. I just don't have it in me to think of a fake name. This morning, I started thinkning of the doll and then something odd happened. I got really sad. Okay that's not odd. I thought where does the step daughter fit into my life? I am not her Mom. I didn't raise her. She doesn't need another Mom. I can't be her friend, because I talk to much. She don't need to hear all my problems with her Dad. Then it occuured to me. Didn't I just describe Izzy? If I am unsure of my place in my step daughters life.. where will Izzy fit? Or worse yet.. where will Izzy find room for me? It was like I told myself the same about the step daughter that my husband tells me about Izzy. She don't need another Mom.
I was overwhelmed with tears. I am sad. My husband says that his daughter is "our daughter" but I don't see how she can be "our daughter" Also, if I allow myself to think of her has "my daughter" Am I cheating Izzy? I am sooooo tired of being sad.
To make matters worse, I had to have this deep sadness come over me on the day of my final. I bombed. Guess I am not a good writer.