After I took my older son back to his Dad's, I left the house to just get away from my husband. My son, Steve, and I went to the park. There was a little girl who told us she was 11 years old very interested in asking us questions. She asked me if I had a daughter? I hate that question. It's almost as bad as getting a shot. So, I did my usual no I don't. Steve said, "Mom you used to" The girl wanted to know more, but I ended it fast. She kept talking to us. I learned that she has never been to the liabary, the grocery store and had not ate and her Grandfather died that day. Does that all sound like a story? Well anyways it was the first time that I actually got to see if my son really understood what I told him a couple weeks ago.
Later in the evening, I explained to him that we don't tell everyone about Izzy. That it's hard to talk about. I said not everyone needs to know. He asked why didn't I keep her, and did I know where she lived. I explained that I do know. So then he asked can we go to her house? I told him that her parents didn't understand that there is enough love to go around so they are afraid. I told him when she is old enough she can decide to know us or not. He asked can we still call her your daughter? Even a 9 year old seems to get how important that is. He suggested that she could move in with us. I explained that she will be adult and probably would live on her own.
After the conversation ended I was playing the conversation over again in my head. Did I silence my son like my family silenced me? It bothers me, because there isn't a easy answer to that question. Do we need to tell everyone and anyone that asks if I have a daughter or asks how many kids you have or how many brother or sisters do you have? It hurts to tell and hurts not to tell.

I had Easter dinner with my clients family. It was pretty nice. I really wished I was home with my family. I got to meet the little boy my clients grand daughter and husband adopted from China. When they went to get him.. the thought of them coming and just taking him really bothered me. He has been home with them for five weeks and he looks great. They look like they all are adjusting well.