I have two blogs. I made it under different profiles, because I had a reason to believe my family had access to the adoption related one. So I shut it down and created this one. One of my reasons for shutting it down was so that I wouldn't be tempted to strike out in anger in what I say.
However, once in a great while I still do that. This past week I have said somethings that I would never really say on here. I would really reword my thoughts. I can't say for sure why once in a while I feel like being brutally mean to my Mom. I guess I just have some much anger in me that I want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt any of you. I try to only sign under this log on, but sometimes I screw up. So if anyone has seen my other blog and been upset. Then I am deeply sorry.
I openly talk on my other blog about the scrap book I am making for my daughter. In person I just say my scrap book. They all know I am making it. I guess what I am wishing is for them to make the second step and say hey I know your hurting. Can I see this book? Is there anything I can do to help make it? My little sister has helped some because she has gotten two different sets of pictures for me that would have been hard on my own. I guess I just want to hear I did it, because I know it's important to you.
So if you read the other blog and feel hurt. I am sorry. If you haven't read it maybe it's best if you don't. I do believe adoption needs to change it's ways some, but I am not totally against it.