I haven't posted anything in a week and that is a long time for me. Sometimes I have things on my mind, but when I try writing about the stuff, it comes off so boring.
I checked the mail this past week to see if Izzy's parents had a change of heart. I don't go there very often, but this was the first time that I didn't have a ounce of hope. I have given up and accepted that they won't write, however because of the what ifs I can't totally ignore checking the mail. So when I looked into a empty box, it was not a surprise that it empty. I still don't understand how anyone who adopts a child could be so cruel to not even write one single letter back. Why couldn't they just write. Izzy is doing well and we don't want to talk to you. That would show a little more compassion than just doing nothing. I told them if they did not want to correspond with me that I wouldn't write them back. So I will keep my promise and won't write again. I do sometimes wonder is there a chance that they did not get it? I did not send it certified mail, so it would not draw attention. I did not get the letter back, so I am pretty sure they received it. I do wonder did they share with Izzy the picture of myself? Did they share with her the information that I have two boys. Or did they just throw the letter out and hope I keep my word? I wonder did they at least keep my contact information?

I have issues on my mind when it comes to my kids. How much do I tell them about Izzy? My older son knows the most, because my ex told him. Do I tell my son that I have photocopied pictures from a year book and that she lives a 1/2 mile from him? Passing that information on seems to be really mean. But what if I don't pass the information on and he meets her? Or worse off they become more than friends? Well lets not hope for that one since my son is only 14 years of age, but we all know kids have sex, before parents want them to.

Another thing going on in my life is that my client's grand daughter is in China right now adopting a boy. They already adopted a girl from China about 3 or 4 years ago. She is five now. She is a smart, cute little girl. I was not around when they adopted her, so even as a Birthmom I did not think of the process much. But with me being around my clients a lot. I am really thinking about the whole picture. The birthparents have already been apart from the boy, because he is older. I feel their pain. The little boy is living in a foster home and I just want to cry for him. Here comes these strange people who look different and they just pay all the money, do the paperwork and take him away. I just can't get the image of a strangers taking this poor child away. The couple is excited and the daughter is excited to get a brother. My client is afraid he won't sleep for two weeks, because they took the daughter back to China and he feels someone might steal her for money. So for the next two weeks and more, I will be thinking a lot about this poor child and this growing family. I am sure it's for the best, because he is living in foster homes, but the beginning is going to be so scary for him.