Forgiveness

I don't get along with my Mom well.. It's not that we fight or anything.. but I seriously can't sit at a table with her without someone else.. The last time I did that I was so miserable. I said I would never do it again. It's odd that it felt that way because a few years ago we took a 12 hour road trip to see my sister in Tennessee.
I don't recall that being awkward or uncomfortable at all.. I suppose it could been the open road, travel anxiety and music that distracted me.

I don't know if forgiveness is the "elephant" in the room when I am alone with Mom. I honestly don't know if I can ever completely forgive her for her actions during my childhood and lastly the adoption of my daughter and how she handled it. I have never really had a conversation with her about my daughter. It has always been swept under the wrong. I know from my family that she will shut down if Izzy is mentioned to her.

Suppose some day I maybe ready to forgive her but today just isn't the day.