retreat rambles

I go on my birthmother's retreat in about a month! I am super excited to go! I feel like this event might be life changing for myself. It will be filling a need of mine that has been missing for ages. I am still chipping away saving money to make the trip as nice as possible. I don't want to be worried about money.

I have decieded to maintain my weight loss and haven't given it much thought if I will aim to be strict with myself or enjoy my time and not think about calories and just eat what I want. I been maintaining my loss for a month now. I will try to post pictures soon.

I do have something heavy on my mind. I feel uncomfortable talking about this retreat! I even feel guilty for feeling odd about it. I guess I still don't feel good in my own skin when it comes to being a birthmom. I have mentioned it to a few people and one person who is a co worker happens to know about it cause we are friends on facebook and I shared the post about the retreat and he asked me what it is.. so kind of akward when someone asks what is "birthmombuds" who doesn't really know my past.

Reunion has made talking about things a little easier but overall unless the person is close knit with me and I am comfortable with them.. it's just not a subject I like talking about. I guess that's more for the reason why I need this retreat.