answering a question

I was asked what I thought about this post on a blog that a fellow blogger mentioned in a recent comment. You can check out the blog here.

To give you a little idea on what the post is about I copied the title to the post.

Does a birthmother’s right to privacy trump an adoptee’s right to their own information?

My answer to the above question is. No. the birthmother's right to privacy should not trump an adoptee's right to their own information.

I think when one chooses to carry a baby to term and give birth then they owe a little something to the child even if they choose to give the child away to someone else to raise. I don't believe one should have to jump thru hurdles to know their history.

I can understand how a child coming back into a birthmother's life could really mess things up for her if she kept the whole thing a secret. Hell, it's going to rock her world no matter what the case was with how open or not open she was about the child she choose not to be it's mother.

I can relate to not being honest. I lied to my first husband cause I didn't know how to tell him that I had a kid at 15 and it escaped me to tell him. I had no choice when I discovered that I was pregnant with my second child. I went with the same lie that I told my Mother when I paniked and said that I was raped.

If I was still married to him that might have changed my outcome in my reunion story. I might have been less likely to search or see her due to wanting to protect my marriage. I couldn't have imagined lying to my daughter about how she was came to be. It would be one thing if it was true but how could I say that when it was a lie.

If anyone else has any questions on this matter just let me know but lastly let this issue be something that isn't an concern. Don't live in secret and shame and let others know about a child even if your not raising them. It would be really sad to reject your own child over fear of coming out of the closet.