My granddaughter

This is my granddaughter's mad face. She will make a mad or sad face on demand and also when she is demanding of attention or a snack! She is a doll.

I love having her around so much. She is talking more and goes potty in her potty chair. She always says "nana watch me" I love having the moments of doing girl things with her. There was a time where I would have to choke back tears if I was around a little girl. I have been known to push little girls away for fear of the hurt.

Mostly the girls I pushed away was neighbors and not sure if it's different cause my grand daughter is family. I had a very hard time when she was first born due to flashbacks that occur when I am visiting a new Mom with a baby. It's an horrible feeling. One wants to be happy for Mom and baby but one only feels the huge loss as it was yesterday.

We didn't start watching her until she was about 9 or 10 months old and that probably was best for me. It gave me time to recoup and not be overly sad by her presence. I do fear the moment when her Mom might decide not to work or even when she goes to school when she grows up. Due to the fact that she is a step grand child didn't help me any. If I were to lose my husband in any way I know I could lose my grand daughter just based on human nature.

She loves to help me get ready for work. She goes into our bedroom when I get dressed and she jumps. She follows me into the bathroom and we do our hair and makeup. She has to have detangler spray like Nana. She wants make up on like me too. Good thing she doesn't know that Nana stinks at being a woman and doesn't know how to do make up very well.

Our newest thing is that she wants to go downstairs when I go to do zumba in the basement. She will shake her butt and walk circles around me and have fun. Her Mom says she talks about zumba a lot.

My granddaughter can't replace my missing memories with Izzy. However, she can help give me some insight into the life with a young girl.